Elul is called the month of mercy and forgiveness. In Sephardic communities, Selichot prayers are recited at the beginning of Elul, but among Ashkenazi communities, the recitation begins this Saturday night.
At midnight, we say with trembling hearts: "Yours, G-d, is righteousness, and ours is the shamefacedness. What can we complain about? What can we say? What can we speak, and how can we justify ourselves? Let us search and examine our ways, and return to You, for Your right hand is extended to receive those who repent. We do not come before you with kindness, nor with [good] deeds. We knock at Your doors like paupers and like beggars... Merciful and Gracious One, please do not turn us away empty-handed from Your Presence... our King, for You are the One who hears prayer."
The Days of Selichot
These words express, with perfect accuracy, the feelings of our hearts when we come to ask forgiveness from the Creator for our actions in the past year. Every heart knows its own bitterness; we all know how far we are from the goals we should have reached. A whole year has passed—did we truly do what we should have done? Now comes the moment to give an account.
The Baal Shem Tov explains the uniqueness of the Selichot days compared to the entire month of Elul: “The preparation of Elul is a general preparation, but there also needs to be a personal preparation. The personal preparation for Rosh Hashanah is during the days of Selichot, in asking for mercy, like servants pleading before their master for forgiveness, in understanding the truth of ‘Yours, G-d, is righteousness, and ours is the shamefacedness.’”
These are special days of grace and mercy, and it is worth using them for purification and greater closeness to Hashem.
To Feel Shame but Not Despair
When we approach Selichot again, doubts may arise. After all, a year, two years, three years ago we stood in the same place, we asked, promised, declared a fresh start, pleaded to erase the past. And here we are again, with the same missteps, the same shortcomings, the same poor summary of a whole year. Do we not feel shame to come and ask again for forgiveness and pardon?
This is a natural and healthy feeling. But in this, G-d is distinguished from humans: a person, if hurt once and forgave, and then was hurt again, will find it difficult to forgive again. Certainly, forgiving a third or fourth time is hard, and at some point, the person may refuse completely. But G-d does not act this way. Since He is infinite, His measure of forgiveness is also infinite. He can forgive once, twice, thrice, four times—an endless number of times. If one comes to Him with a sincere heart, with true repentance and complete return, He will forgive and pardon.
We must feel shame, we must feel remorse for the resolutions we failed to keep—but we must not despair. Even one who has failed for eighty years can open a new page, and merit full forgiveness from G-d, Who is “abundant in forgiveness.”
However, it requires us to reflect on our deeds and our words. There are those who contemplate before reciting Selichot, to feel as a person should when standing before G-d and asking for forgiveness. Approaching Selichot in this way, we are sure to merit forgiveness, and a good and sweet inscription for the new year.
Adapted from Rabbi Menachem Brod, Sichat HaShevua
