I’m rather embarrassed to tell my story. Usually, the bachurim who speak here are tzaddikim; they speak about acts of hisgabrus or about their scrupulousness in keeping halachah. Most likely they are not really excited to talk about themselves, but the knowledge that there is zikui harabbim in doing so gives them the courage to contribute their story and thus to bring another Yid closer to Hashem.
But what I want to tell you about is not necessarily pleasant, because I’m not going to tell you about a good deed, but the opposite. Specifically now, during days of teshuvah, when Jews everywhere are examining their deeds, one can take chizuk from it and know that Hakadosh Baruch Hu always helps us do good, if we only will it.
In Adar, close to Purim, I went out with friends to collect money for the Tomchei Torah fund in my yeshivah. At the end of our rounds, we had collected 102 shekels and 10 agurot. It was decided that I would be the one to give the money over to the Tomchei Torah fund, and I took the money.
In my yeshivah we don’t take percentages on the tzedakah we collect. All the money is given directly to the Tomchei Torah fund. In order to encourage the bachurim, they give some sort of gift, but not money. I decided on my own, however, that nothing would happen if I’d give the yeshivah 100 shekels and take the 2 shekels and 10 agurot for myself to buy a cup of coffee at the yeshivah’s coffee corner. That’s what I thought, and that’s what I did, and I went to sleep that night without any pangs of conscience.
In the morning, after davening Shacharis, I went back to my dorm room to check my amplifier system. With Purim on the way, the amplifier was an extremely important piece of equipment. I plugged it in, pressed the buttons, tried speaking on it, and discovered that it was completely useless. The microphone was broken, and there was nothing to do but get rid of it, the sooner the better.
What do you think would be the quickest way to get rid of a broken electronic device? If you thought of taking the amplifier to the closest garbage can, you’re mistaken. There is a quicker way, and that is to throw it out the window. That’s right – there I was, on the fourth floor of the yeshivah dorm. I lifted the amplifier with all my strength, and within a few seconds it had landed on the sidewalk below, completely shattered.
The problem was that it was not only the amplifier that broke apart. It smashed right onto the roof of a car.
What stupidity! The quick way I had chosen was in fact the much slower, more painful way. I went downstairs to check the condition of the car and discovered that I had caused a lot of damage. I was very upset. I had absolutely not meant to do this to anyone.
