Advice for Shalom Bayis
Focusing on the present is also a good counsel for maintaining peace because remembering the faults of others leads to anger and contention. When one can let go and forget what others did to him in the past, there can be peace.
Many of the customs we have at a chuppah commemorate Matan Torah. Some explain that we break a glass under the chuppah to remember the luchos that were broken after Mattan Torah.
The gemara (Eiruvin 54.) teaches that if the luchos wouldn't have been broken, people wouldn’t forget Torah. So, the broken luchos represent the trait of forgetting.
The Divrei Yoel of Satmar zy"a explains that it is essential that the couple standing under the chuppah be reminded of the broken luchos and their ability to forget. Because when a couple can forget a past misdeed of their spouse, there can be peace in the home.
Rebbe Moshe Leib Sassover zy"a explained that the past and the future are significant deterrents to avodas Hashem. The sins and failures of the past discourage people from trying again, and worrying about the future robs people of their peace of mind. Yaakov Avinu blessed Efraim and Menasha, as it states, ההוא ביום ויברכם, "he blessed them on that day..." (Bereishis 48:20). He blessed them with the ability to focus on that day, without considering the past and the future.
