Q. My wife was at an event to benefit a certain organization, and she was so inspired by one of the speakers that she pledged $500 for the cause. When she returned home and told me about it, I protested that this was too much to give for this cause. She said that she can’t renege since she made a neder (vow). Is she correct?
A. When a wife makes a neder for tzedakah, and her husband agrees with her decision when he hears about it, he may not renege later on (Shulchan Aruch, Even Ha’ezer 90:10). This is certainly true if he expresses his agreement verbally (Taz ibid. 90:4); some Poskim maintain that even a thought (machshavah) to give tzedakah is tantamount to a verbal pledge (see Yoreh Dei’ah 258:13, and BHI issue #79), and according to this view it would be enough for the husband to agree to his wife’s pledge in his mind. If the husband expresses his disagreement, however, he is not obligated to pay.
If a woman makes a neder for tzedakah, she is required to fulfill her pledge when she has her own money (for instance, if someone gives her money on condition that she give it to tzedakah and her husband has no right to it [see Even Ha’ezer 85:11], or if she is widowed or gets divorced; see Eirachin 2b with Rashi and Tosafos). In contrast to korbanos (offerings) that she is obligated to bring, which her husband must pay for, her husband is not obligated to fulfill her pledge, because Chazal were concerned that if we would obligate a husband to fulfill his wife’s pledges, then every time she would get offended by him, she would pledge large sums to tzedakah and cause him financial distress (Tosafos, Bava Metzia 104a; Nazir 24a; Nedarim 35b; Beis Shmuel, Even Ha’ezer 91:13).
A woman’s neder is therefore valid only if she meant to obligate herself to pay her own money to tzedakah. But if her intention was to pay the pledge with her husband’s money — even if that money was earned by her — then her pledge is not considered a neder altogether, because a person cannot consecrate something that does not belong to him (Even Ha’ezer 90:10; Choshen Mishpat 243b).
Although, according to the Torah, the money a wife earns belongs to her, Chazal established that it belongs to her husband (who accepts the responsibility of providing for her in exchange). And since the halachah is that hefker beis din hefker — whomever beis din decides is the owner of the money is the one who actually owns it — she therefore has no right to pledge her earnings to tzedakah without her husband’s consent (Shu”t Yehudah Yaaleh [Assad] Even Ha’ezer 43). Even if she pushed herself to earn more than the wages a woman is required to earn, the Shulchan Aruch (Even Ha’ezer 80:1; see Chazon Ish Ibid. 70:5) rules that her earnings still belong to her husband (see also Beis Shmuel ibid. 80:2 and Beis Meir ibid).
Now, some Poskim rule that a woman running her household is considered her husband’s shaliach (agent), and her husband must consent to any transactions she made on his behalf. According to these Poskim, her husband must also fulfill her pledges to tzedakah. Even if he protests against her pledge, that will help only to stop her from making more pledges in the future, because he essentially revokes her role as a shaliach from that point on, but what she already did cannot be invalidated (Beis Shmuel 91:13).
The majority of Poskim maintain, however, that a wife’s role as a shaliach for financial matters is limited to small expenditures, such as purchasing groceries, because it would be unreasonable for her to have to request permission from her husband each time she needs to shop for household items.
But if she pledges a large sum of money without her husband’s consent, her pledge is invalid (Maharik, Shoresh 192, cited in Shach, Choshen Mishpat 96:9).
In addition, some Poskim write that a woman’s transactions are valid only if they are meant to benefit her husband financially, but she has no right to give tzedakah, because that doesn’t provide financial benefit to him. If she is an industrious person and supports her husband through her work, then her husband likely consents to all financial decisions she makes, because if not, she might stop working. Practically, this will depend on the specific circumstances, such as how much she earns (Yam Shel Shlomo, Bava Kamma 10:59; Levushei Mordechai, Yoreh Dei’ah 175; see Shu”t Shevet Halevi 2:118 & 125).
Notwithstanding all that we have explained, it is best for the husband to consent to his wife donating money to tzedakah according to their means, because the fact that a woman is certainly allowed to give a small amount to tzedakah if that is what they can afford (Yoreh Dei’ah 248:4) indicates that she does have certain rights to donate to tzedakah (Minchas Yitzchak 2:78).
Nevertheless, it is best for the husband to be meifer (nullify) his wife’s vow, as we will explain in the coming issue.
