Q&A
Closeness & Loyalty to Hashem
Question:I have a couple of questions which have been bothering me for many long years, since my childhood.... The Jewish nation stood at Har Sinai, and later sinned with the Eigel (golden calf ). Is this story in the Torah emphasizing that no matter high one’s “spiritual feelings” are, this is not what determines true “closeness” to Hashem?
Answer:Of all people it is said, “Do not be confident in yourself until the day of your death”. Of Hashem it is said, “Even in His holiest ones He is not confident in.” For as long as a person is on This World he is in a test, from the front and behind, as the Mesillas Yesharim states. Only in the Next World where the evil inclination will be swallowed will one permanently retain his spiritual level, for there will be no possibility then of any spiritual descent.
The avodah (task) of a person is to be loyal to Hashem at all times, whether he feels the Creator or not. In the future, one will feel the Creator constantly. One can have a semblance of this experience on This World, and partially feel the Creator, each person at his own level, to the degree that one has revealed the light of the soul.
Therefore, as long as one is on This World, where one is a soul living within a body, there is a concealment [of the light of the neshamah], it is one’s task to accept the yoke of Heaven upon himself, in the areas of action, emotion, speech, thought, and will. Simultaneously, a person should also penetrate to the light of his neshamah and feel the closeness to Hashem. But one needs both, accepting the yoke of Heaven, along with pleasure [in doing the mitzvos]. It is incomplete when a person does either of the above. One needs both aspects, together, for each of the above aspects by itself is only half of one’s task, which only endangers a person – as you have pointed out partially in your question.
