Slice of LIFE
Stepping Stones
Vita Goldstein
Once upon a time, many years ago, in the 1950s I was a child in our small town of Danielson, in northeastern Connecticut.
Our family had been good friends with the Rosenberg family. Paula was about my age. Many Friday evenings I would be a guest in their home. I saw the Shabbat candles being lit and enjoyed being with their Bubbe (grandmother), neither of which I had.
While a child, trying to help in their home on Shabbat, I was only entrusted to put the silverware on the table. I learned there were two sets of silverware - one for meat and one for dairy - and to take from the meat drawer. To this day, I remember that paisley type pattern of their meat silverware.
From the warmth of the Rosenberg family, I learned a little about Jewish observance. I learned that I too, wanted to have Shabbat candles and two sets of silverware when I grew up. These visits lasted for years and made a strong impression on me.
There were many stone steps to walk up to the Rosenberg's front door. I always associate the steps of that home with the first of my many stepping stones.
My grandfather called Rabbi Hershel Fogelman ob”m, the Rebbe's emissary in Worcester, Massachusetts, to ask for a teacher to come to teach Hebrew school in Danielson. Rabbi Fogelman sent Rabbi Yisroel Gordon, from Worcester, but I was too young to appreciate his visits. I do know he had an impact on my family. My mother, even now at 91 years old, still remembers Rabbi Gordon teaching Hebrew school in Danielson in those years. Many children who attended the Danielson Hebrew school at Temple Beth Israel, including my Uncle Meyer, were influenced by Rabbi Gordon.
Fast forward to 1966. My family moved to another town, and I felt lost without my friends with whom I celebrated Shabbat since my understanding was so limited (candles and meat silverware).
But, as the saying goes, when one door closes another door opens. After we moved, I began to attend the functions of the teen group at our synagogue. I learned more about Shabbat and Kosher. I learned about Jewish music and Israeli dancing, ritually washing my hands before eating bread and saying the special blessing afterwards. Here was another stepping stone.
With the encouragement of several of their friends, my parents sent my brother and me to Israel for a summer on a Bar and Bat Mitzvah trip. We went to Israel once again for the "gap" year before college. I soon became an enthusiastic lover of the Land of Israel as well as interested in becoming more Jewishly observant. Yet another stepping stone.
During my year in Israel, I studied the laws of Shabbat, Jewish history and many other topics. I returned to the U.S. and went to college, getting a degree in Art Education. In college I met my husband, Reuven. After college, we were married in Danielson, in the synagogue where I grew up!
Reuven and I settled in New London, Connecticut, and became the parents of two beautiful daughters. One fine Shabbat morning, I was walking with our girls to our synagogue and my neighbour, Rebbetzin Esther Bluming, was walking to the Orthodox congregation. We stopped at the corner and spoke for a few minutes. This particular morning became a major moment, in my life. Rebbetzin Bluming invited me to her congregation but I explained, "No. I could never go to your synagogue, because I would not feel comfortable." She responded with a very poignant comment. "If you stay in a place you are comfortable, you will never grow."
This was an amazing statement. She opened my eyes to the possibility so I tried! In the beginning I went Friday night to the Conservative congregation, and Shabbat morning to the Orthodox one, Ahavath Chesed. Slowly, we evolved to attending Ahavath Chesed on Friday night as well.
Where to send our children to school was the next major stepping stone. We started off with a pluralistic Jewish day school. But we found out that if our daughters continued in this school through eighth grade they would not be prepared to go on to a Jewish high school. To be honest, I wasn't concerned that they would not be continuing their Jewish education. I was concerned that if our daughters went to public school for high school, the social activities like Friday night dances and Saturday afternoon ball games would become a conflict for them. It was at this point that we decided to send our girls to the Hebrew Day School of Eastern Connecticut. This stepping stone was an expression of our growing commitment to becoming more observant.
Eventually the small Orthodox day school they were attending closed due to dwindling enrollment and funds. We came to the realisation that we had to move in order for our daughters to continue their Jewish education. We moved to a bigger community, New Haven. We enrolled our daughters at the New Haven Hebrew Day School. In the process we learned more about kosher and other things that we had never been exposed to. Many of the Rebbe's emissaries in New Haven and its environs were "tour guides" for us as we continued on our journey, explaining and guiding along the way and providing new stepping stones.
Keeping in mind our love for the Holy Land, our daughters went to seminary and college in Israel. They made aliyah after seminary and college. They both married and are living in Israel. We too, now live in Israel, not far from our daughters. We live in Rechovot and I attend a weekly class given by the Rebbe's emissary to Rechovot Rabbi MM Gluckowsky. We continue to take steps, always learning.
Our steps were taken ever so slowly, all with the guidance and encouragement of many along the way, including my mother, Elka (Elsie) and my gratitude toward my husband, Reuven for taking this journey together.
For us, these steps were made possible because there is always a Chabad House, not too far away!
