Achashverosh never learned the benefits of putting off anger. Therefore, when Vashti insulted him, he killed her immediately (see Esther 1:12). Later, he regretted what he did, but, of course, it was too late. Such is the lot of those who react impulsively when provoked.
At Esther's party, Achashverosh became angry at Haman and killed him immediately (see Esther 7:7). He didn't give himself time to think things over.
In the megillah (Esther 7:9), Charvonah told Achashverosh about the gallows Haman built and added a few ambiguous words. He said, .המלך על טוב דבר אשר It means that Mordechai spoke well about the king (by foiling Bigsan and Seresh’s plan to poison Achashverosh). But in his haste, Achashverosh understood that Haman said that the gallows are המלך על טוב, suitable for Achashverosh, for Achashverosh to hang on it. The Vilna Gaon teaches that this is why Achashverosh killed Haman.
This was the result of acting in anger, impulsively, without taking time to think things through matters.
Efraim, Yad Efraim, and others), was also very wealthy; he owned a bank. Once, an expensive vase broke in his home. His wife was very upset about this, but he remained calm. She asked him, "How can you be so calm? Do you realize how expensive it was?" He said, "Ask me this question in a year, and I will explain." She didn’t forget. A year later, on that date, she asked him how he remained calm when the expensive vase broke. He asked her, "Are you still upset about the vase that broke?" She said that it doesn’t bother her anymore. He replied, "Your father chose me to be his son-in-law because he said that I am an iluy (genius) and I grasp matters quickly. When the vase broke, I immediately grasped how I would feel a year later and didn’t let it bother me even then."
We can learn from this a lesson in how to overcome anger. When things anger us, we should ask ourselves, "Will this upset me a year or two from now, or will I be able to look back and laugh at what happened?" Consider how you will feel in the future, and this will help you overcome your anger.
Sometimes, the Torah places a א"ה at the end of a word instead of a ד"למ at the beginning. For example, it states (Bereishis 14:10, 32:4), מצרימה and Rashi teaches that this has the same meaning as למצרים, "to Mitzrayim." Rebbe Mendel of Vorke zy’a (who was called the shtiller Rebbe, the silent Rebbe, because of his caution with his speech) asks, why does the Torah prefer to place a heh at the end of the word, rather than a lamed at the beginning of the word? Either way, there will be the same number of letters, so why is a heh at the end of the word preferred over a lamed at the beginning?
The Vorke Rebbe replied that this teaches us that the later you can say things, the better. And when you speak later, it will probably be in a calmer tone. This is seen from the heh at the end of the word, which is a calmer letter (said with less force) than a lamed at the beginning.
