Special Topic
Elul
When we come to Rosh Hashanah, followed by Yom Kippur and Sukkos, we need to know the general goal of these special days. It is to find Hakadosh Baruch Hu, to grab hold of Him and hold His hand, so to speak, that He should watch over us all year long and all life long. Returning to the allegories we mentioned before, what is our destination, and what merchandise do we want to purchase?
We want to acquire Hashem, so to speak. The twenty-one days from Rosh Hashanah to Shemini Atzeres are to bring Hashem into our lives, to live our daily lives with Hashem. The preparation for Rosh Hashanah is Ani l’Dodi v’Dodi li. This means getting practice during Elul for what we will do in the three weeks beginning with Rosh Hashanah.
Now, you might object: I already heard about this concept many times. But what does it really mean, “to live life with Hashem”? Can’t you give me something practical? To live in a state of constant connection Hakadosh Baruch Hu sounds like it’s for the Chofetz Chaim.
The answer is as follows. The most concentrated way to live life with Hashem is by Tefillah. To daven to Hashem, and not just from our dear siddur. Our grandmothers of old did not know how to read. Today, most of us daven Shacharis, Minchah and Maariv, recite Tehillim, it is rare to find someone who doesn’t know how to read.
But the Mishnah Berurah says that women in former times did not usually know how to read. Why? Not because they didn’t have time. My daughter, when she was four years old, knew alef beis without needing to be taught. She just picked it up at home. It’s rather because davening from a siddur was almost an insult to women. They knew how to really daven.
Let’s say you see an invalid with a very fancy wheelchair. He boasts that his chair goes forward and backward, it even goes up stairs. But someone who can walk normally on his own two feet is not going to envy him one bit. Natural walking is always so much better.
Tefillah is serving Hashem with the heart. If a person is an invalid, if his heart is closed, he needs a siddur. But if your heart is healthy and your eyes aren’t dried up, you are already in good shape. Chazal say, “Be careful regarding your wives, because they cry easily.” If a person has emotions, if he knows how to cry and feel, if he is not like a stone, then he doesn’t need a siddur in order to daven.
Today, women’s hearts are more closed. Nowadays it is not acceptable to cry. I still remember that in funerals people would cry. Today it’s not respectable to cry. My grandmother told me that when the chazzan announced the coming Rosh Chodesh Elul, the whole ezras nashim filled with crying and shouting. Originally, our grandmothers were always close to Hashem.
In my opinion, the best thing to work on in Elul is this type of Tefillah. To always speak to Hashem. That’s what Elul is about: Ani l’Dodi v’Dodi li. Get into the habit to living life with Hashem.
This is something that every Jew, and most especially a Jewish woman, should get used to. The special time to acquire this habit is Rosh Hashanah until Shemini Atzeres, and the preparation for it is Elul. Ani l’Dodi v’Dodi li. I speak to You, and You answer Me. When a person gets into the habit of speaking to Hashem, he very simply and honestly gives his hand to Hashem and asks Him to help him get cross the street – to employ the allegory we mentioned before – at all times and in all places. This is the goal of Elul.
When we meet Hashem and start to talk to Him, saying : I am sorry that I spoke lashon hara, that I was so stupid, that I got angry, etc, then it is simply a chutzpah not to do teshuvah. The essence of these days is Ani l’Dodi v’Dodi li. For women this has special meaning, because the whole concept of Dodi, of emotional love, of closeness, speaks especially to women.
This is why men wear tefillin and women don’t. Tefillin bind the Shema Yisrael to our minds and hearts, they tie the reality of Hashem to our heads and arms. Men need the spiritual tool of tefillin to accomplish that. Women don’t need it. They are not “invalids”; they don’t need special equipment. The same is true with tzitzis, and with sukkah, and with shofar. The Torah does not obligate women in these mitzvos because they naturally are tied to Hashem even without them.
But since we need extra help nowadays, we need spiritual crutches, the best assistance available to us is reciting berachos. 100 berachos a day. Every time we enjoy something of this world, we recite a brachah, we thank Hashem. This means talking to Hashem. But true Yiddishkeit means talking to Hashem not just in berachos and in the fixed daily tefillos but in any language and words. And if you already do this, if you already talk to Hashem, do it more broadly and more deeply and more often.
When you get used to talking to Hashem and going through your day with Hashem, your whole life changes!
Special Elul
Elul is a very special time. Perhaps the most important of all.
On Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur everything will be decided. Life, health, parnassah, everything. The preparation for this is Elul. And everything depends on preparation.
Imagine a young man leaves his shtetl by horse and buggy and travels to the big city to go to the fair. He is amazed by the sights. It is so exciting! He sees the train. He sees an automobile. There is so much going on all around him, so much hustle and bustle. So many people from all over are buying so much merchandise. Then he goes back home without buying anything and tells everyone about the wonderful trip he had.
Someone a little more experienced goes to the same fair and buys merchandise to take back home.
Rosh Hashanah is an exciting day. The shofar brings us literally before the Kisei Hakavod. Aseres Yemei Teshuvah bring us close to Hashem. Yom Kippur brings us to the greatest closeness that can be imagined. Sukkos is a hug from Hashem, Hoshana Rabba is a kiss, and Shemini Atzeres is yichud with Hashem, which is the most wondrous closeness. We all go through the Yamim Noraim. It’s a most amazing and uplifting trip.
Then we return to our place after the exciting trip. What did we acquire? What “merchandise” did we bring back with us?
The point of Yamim Noraim and Sukkos is not just to have a great spiritual experience. It’s to take something back with us.
What’s the difference between the first person and the second, between the one who came back with nothing and the one who purchased merchandise?
It all depends on why he went in the first place. The first one went with no special intentions in mind. The second planned on buying something, and so he did.
The success of the Yamim Noraim depends on Elul. When we set out on our “trip” to the great holidays, we need to plan, to decide during the month of Elul, what we are going to do when we get there. Soon we will be at the big fair and we need to know what we came for and what we want to bring back with us. If we don’t figure this out in advance, we are likely to return from our wonderful trip with nothing.
Elul is all about Ani l’Dodi v’Dodi li. Closeness and love between us and Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Yet, Elul is the preparation for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, which are focused on yir’ah, not ahavah. How does Elul prepare us for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur?
Before a person sets out on a journey he needs to know where he wants to end up. He needs to know his final destination. The final stop on our journey is Sukkos and Shemini Atzeres, days which are all about love and closeness. That’s where we are going, and keeping this firmly in mind is the way to get there.
