Humor
Bracha at Dinner
Leah Epstein invites some family and friends to dinner and at the table, she turns to her 6 year old daughter Rivkah and says, "Darling, don’t forget to make a bracha (blessing)."
"But Mommy, I don't know what bracha to say," replies Rivkah.
"All you need do," says Leah, "is to repeat what you heard Mommy say."
Rivkah thinks for a moment and says, "God, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"
Picture Menu
Dave and Wendy Sharfman were on their first trip to Israel and stopped into Udi’s Excellent Falafel House for lunch. The Sharfmans were reading the menu over the counter and then noticed a sign to the side that stated "Picture Menu Available".
Dave thought that this was interesting so he asked Udi what it was.
“It’s for customers, maybe who have eye problems and they can’t read the menu.
“So how would your customers know this picture menu was available if they can’t read?” Dave asked.
"Well,” responded Udi, “It says so on the sign, doesn't it?"
The Chelm Riddle
A simple Jew from the infamous city of Chelm visits Warsaw. He meets the shamash of the shul and the shamash asks him a riddle: Who is my father's son, but he's not my brother? The simple Jew thinks and thinks, finally gives up and asks: Who is it?
The answer is simple: "Me."
"That is great," he thought! When he returns to Chelm he gathers his friends and family and challenges them with the riddle. Who is my father's son, but isn't my brother? They give up. "It is the shamash of Warsaw!" he proclaims grinning at the brilliance.
Marvin and the Refrigerator
Marvin Himmleman is at his doctor for a physical. Dr. Epstein runs some tests and says to Marvin, ''Well, Mr. Himmleman, for an 82 year old man you are in top condition physically. But how about mentally and spiritually?”
“What do you mean, doc?” asks Marvin.
“Well how is your connection with God, for example?''
Marvin says, ''Oh me and God? We're tight. We have a real bond, he's good to me. Every night when I have to get up to go to the bathroom, he turns on the light for me, and then, when I leave, he turns it back off.'' Well, upon hearing this, Dr. Epstein was concerned.
He called Mrs. Himmleman and said, ''I'd like to speak to you about your husband. He claims that every night when he needs to use the restroom, God turns on the light for him and turns it off for him again when he leaves.”
Mrs. Himmleman replies, “Oy that schnook. He’s been using the refrigerator again!''
