Parshas Ki Seitzei begins with one of the more difficult sections of the Torah to understand: When someone goes to war and sees an Eshes Yefas Toar with whom he falls in love, the Torah allows him to take her as his wife (under various conditions and requirements, which we are not going to get into today). Basically, something which is incomprehensible to us is sanctioned by Torah law! This is a very strange halacha. Rashi explains: “The Torah is speaking here to handle the evil inclination.” In a time of war, a person has these tayvahs, and the Torah reluctantly permits him to do something which, under normal circumstances, would certainly be forbidden.
What makes this even harder to understand is the context of how and when such a thing happens.
In last week’s parsha, we learned that there are certain exemptions that prevent a person from being drafted into the Jewish army. The last of the exemptions is “the fearful and soft-hearted person shall go and return to his home” (Devorim 20:8). There are differing opinions as to what type of an individual is being exempted (Sotah 43a). According to at least one opinion, the fearful person here is not someone who is afraid of battle, but rather he is a G-d fearing person who is afraid that he will be punished at the Hand of G-d during the dangerous wartime scenario because of aveiros he has committed. In fact, the Gemara says that this is the primary exemption, and that the other deferments (for new home owners, newlyweds, etc.) are only to provide “cover” for the person who is afraid of Divine punishment for his past aveiros.
The result of this is that the people in the Torah-prescribed Jewish army are virtually totally righteous individuals. This certainly magnifies our difficulty in understanding this parsha. Who are we talking about that the Torah found it necessary to permit marrying this woman with whom he falls in love with during war? We are talking about Tzadikim Gemurim! The Gemara in Sotah suggests the type of aveira for which such a deferment is granted: Someone who spoke between putting on his Hand Tefillin and his Head Tefillin! We are not dealing with Sabbath desecrators or those who consume non-Kosher meat. Becoming distracted in the midst of donning Tefillin is a relatively minor transgression.
How is it that such a fellow develops such an uncontrollable passion in the middle of a war? What happened to his tzidkus?
Rav Yakov Galinsky, a famous Maggid in Yerushalayim, explained this with a very important principle. We know that there are tzadikim and there are non-tzadikim. What makes a person into a tzadik as opposed to a regular person? People think that a tzadik conquers his Yetzer HaRah much easier than normal people. Normal people succumb to their Yetzer HaRah; the tzadik is stronger, is more principled, and he does not succumb.
Rav Yakov Galinsky said this is not true. The tzadik has as much trouble—if not more trouble—than the rest of us. So, what differentiates a tzadik from a non-tzadik? The answer is that the tzadik is careful not to put himself into situations that will tempt him to succumb. He knows when a situation involves spiritual danger. He could easily stumble and transgress. He therefore sets up fences and guardrails to keep himself away from those types of situations.
A tzadik does not have a stronger Yetzer Tov. He does not have more will power. He has the same will power as the non-tzadik, but he implements a plan to avoid aveiros. It is like dieting. What is the difference between people who are thin and people who are overweight? A person who knows he can’t gain weight or that he needs to diet, fills himself up with vegetables and salads before he goes to a Chassanah so he is already half full. By the time he arrives at the wedding, he is not so hungry for the smorgasbord. He anticipates the fact that he will be in a tempting situation and takes preemptive action to ensure that he will not succumb to his natural inclination.
A person who is overweight does not take such preemptive action. He arrives at the Chassanah hungry and cannot help but say to himself: That looks so good! How can I pass that up? He eats it and he grows heavier. That is what it is all about.
So too, the tzadik has a plan. He takes preemptive action to avoid situations of temptation. However, this is all well and good under normal life circumstances. However, when someone goes out to war, he finds himself in an environment which he cannot control. Perhaps in his civilian life, he could set up certain boundaries that will ensure that he will not come into close contact with women, and certainly never be alone with them. However, on the battlefield, he is not in control. “And you will see in captivity a beautiful woman...” Suddenly, he sees a beautiful woman and he is love-struck for her. How did this happen? It happened because in regular life, he was always careful not to put himself into those types of situations, but during a war, he can’t help himself.
Therefore, even a Tzadik—the person who usually won’t even speak while donning his Tefillin—can succumb to the allure of an Eishes Yefas Toar.
Rav Galinsky remarked on the timeliness of this parsha always falling out a week or two before Rosh HaShanna. When a person makes a cheshbon ha’nefesh (internal reckoning) and asks himself “Why is this year going to be different than all other years?” he needs to be thinking about ensuring that he is not put into situations in which he nebech feels compromised such that he may not be able to overcome his Yetzer HaRah. It is the forethought and planning that prevents him from spiritually stumbling.
