A White Wedding
Little Moishie Rosenberg is at his cousin Hadassah’s wedding and asks his mom, "Mommy, why does the bride wear white on her wedding day?"
Moishie’s mom replies, "The bride is in white because she's happy and this is the happiest day of her life."
Moishie thinks about this, and then says, "Well then why is the groom wearing black?"
Divine Judgment
An observant Jew who lived on Park Avenue, built a Sukkah on his balcony. Some of his 'high society' non-Jewish neighbors brought him to court. They claimed that the Sukkah on his balcony was an eyesore and was having a negative impact on the value of their homes in this posh neighborhood.
In court, the man was very worried about the outcome. It was the eve of the eight-day holiday, leaving him no time to make alternative arrangements, in case the judge ordered him to take down the Sukkah. He prayed for help..... and God listened.
Judge Ginsburg, who was Jewish himself, had a reputation of being a very wise man. ("A yidisher kop"). After hearing both sides, he turned around to the observant Jew and scolded him: "Don't you realize that you live on Park Avenue, and not in Brooklyn? There is a certain decorum which is expected on Park Avenue. You have no right to be putting up an ugly hut on this lovely street without a building permit authorizing it. I hereby rule that either you remove the hut, or I will fine you one thousand dollars. You have exactly eight days to do so!"
Weekend at Grandma’s
David and Michael Altman, two young brothers, were spending the night at their grandparents’ house. At bedtime, the two boys recited the evening prayers before going to sleep. David, the youngest brother began praying at the top of his lungs.
"I PRAY FOR A BICYCLE...I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO...I PRAY FOR A NEW LAPTOP..."
David’s older brother Michael leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf."
To which the little brother replied, "No, but Bubbie is!"
The Perfect Couple
Jacob and Rachel Rosenberg were chatting with friends when the subject of marriage counselling came up.
Jacob said:
"Oh, we'll never need that. My wife and I have a great relationship. She has a communications degree and I have a degree in theatre arts. She communicates really well and I just act like I'm listening."
