This week, the Torah tells us that the people of Ammon and Moav cannot join the Jewish People. It offers two reasons (Devarim 23:5):
- Because they did not greet you with food and water when you left Egypt,
- and they hired Bilaam to curse you.
If we were to look at these two reasons, they seem to be out of order of importance. Certainly, hiring Bilaam in an attempt to destroy us should be mentioned before the fact that they didn’t come forward with snacks!
But it isn’t true. Had they offered us food and hospitality, they would never have hired Bilaam against us.
Chazal established that a groom should send his bride gifts. In this way, he will grow to love her more. This seems to be reversed. If she gives him the gifts, that would grow the love, wouldn’t it? No.
We don’t love through receiving, only through giving. When we invest in others, we begin to cherish them more. Note how parents love their children, to whom they give the most.
Therefore, the problem with the Ammonites and Moavites was that they did not offer us food and drink. Had they done so, they would have grown to care about us and love us.
If one has the opportunity to love another and chooses not to – he has no place in Hashem’s nation.
