And you shall see a nice-looking woman among the captives and you shall desire her and take her unto you for a wife.
The Ohr Hachaim asks why does the Torah describe this lady as a nice looking one when the Torah itself adds that even an ugly looking lady is included in this Parsha? The Sifrei learns, that the words וחשקת בה – and you shall desire her – denote that even if she is physically ugly, as long as the person desires her, he may take her as a wife. If the Torah meant to include this ugly woman too, why add the words יפה תואר?
The Ohr Hachaim bases his answer on the explanation of the entire Parsha of this good-looking lady. Why does the Torah command us to take a woman from an enemy camp, a presumed idol-worshipper, and marry her? This is especially difficult to understand when we consider the circumstances under which she is captured. Klal Yisroel win their wars, and Hashem shows them open Hashgacha at this time. A clear miracle takes place, when Hashem’s enemies are routed and Klal Yisroel capture the spoils of war. Is this the appropriate time for a person to sully himself with the body of a woman from a strange nation? Should a person not try and elevate himself from this base desire at this holy time of miracles?
The Ohr Hachaim explains that when Adam Harishon sinned, many precious Neshamos were sent into captivity under the evil kingdom, and they are born to non-Jewish families. These are the ones who end converting to Torah and joining Klal Yisroel. We indeed find Gedolei Yisroel from the converts that have joined us, such as Rus, Shmaya, Avtalyon, Unkelos and many others.
Another important point to note is that sometimes a pure Neshama is closely attached to an impure Neshama, and there is no way for the impure Neshama to repair itself, until they manage to separate themselves from each other. The Mekubalim write that Shechem ben Chamor was closely attached to the Neshama of Rabbi Chanina bar Tradyon. The Torah tells us that the area around Shechem is ארץ רחב"ת ידים – a wide open area. The word רחב"ת is an acronym for רבי חנינא בר תרדיון. There was nothing the pure Neshama could do for the evil one, until he kidnapped and molested Dinah. Then, the Torah tells us, ותדבק נפשו בדינה – his soul cleaved itself to Dinah. It left Rabbi Chanina bar Tradyon and joined Dinah.
However, on some occasions, a holy Neshama lives among the evil forces and is attached to evil, but has the ability to either banish the evil or improve it and convert it to the good side. This is why we sometimes see converts who live among the gentiles, yet act as they should, spreading light and truth to the people around them.
When a person performs a Mitzvah, his Neshama is dressed in a holy form, and he can then remove the evil from his Neshama or sweeten it and improve it. This is especially true when a person serves as an agent for a Mitzvah, traveling somewhere in order to fulfill a Mitzvah for someone. The Mitzvah prevents the Yetzer Hara from enticing him to an aveira, and even the Yetzer Hara itself commands the aveira to leave him alone. The converse is true when a person performs an aveira.
After we appreciate these ideas, we can understand the meaning of the possuk. The war referred to is a holy war, a war that is a Mitzvah, and the person going out to wage war for Klal Yisroel is an agent of a Mitzvah. While he is waging war, he may see a captive who is a good-looking woman. The person is occupied with a Mitzvah, and he is closely attached to holiness. When he sees a lady who is good-looking, he obviously sees only her Neshama that is holy and elevated, worthy of conversion to Torah.
The person who is doing the Mitzvah of fighting the enemies of Hashem has the clear vision to recognize, that even if the woman may be physically ugly, she has a Neshama that is lit up and ready to join Klal Yisroel.
The Ohr Hachaim adds that the Torah uses an expression of וחשקת בה – you shall desire in her, not וחשקת אותה – you shall desire her. The person is not interested in her externalities, all he wants is that which dwells deep inside her, which is her holy Neshama.
However, there are occasions that the holy Neshama is so closely intertwined with the evil that they cannot separate. This is the purpose of the month that the person needs to wait between capturing the woman and marrying her. If the good part of this woman leaves her as soon as she enters the house of the Yid, she will remain as before and she will have to be repatriated to her idol-worshipping parents. The soldier will lose his desire for her, because her positive attributes will dissipate and leave her with the impure Neshama.
If, however, her connection to the holy portion of her Neshama is thus that the impure is converted to pure, changing sides with its connection to a Tzadik, she is then worthy of staying with him.
However, all of this takes place after the war is over, and the soldier is no longer protected by the halo of holiness that surrounds someone that is occupied with a Mitzvah. For this reason, the Torah ensures that during this month she act like a widow, not beautifying her body or making herself attractive to his Yetzer Hara at all. If he still wishes to marry her, it is a sign that his connection to her is holy and pure, and he will bring her into the fold of Hashem and his Shechina.
