It’s not hard to resist the Yetzer Hara. He tells you what to do, and you say no. The hard part is recognizing that it’s him.
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“And you see in captivity, a beautiful woman, and you long for her, and you take her for yourself for a wife.” (Devarim 21:11)
The concept of the beautiful war bride is one that boggles the mind. A Jewish soldier, who witnesses miraculous success in his battle against the enemy, where no men are lost, should be on a very high spiritual level. How then, when witnessing Hashem’s direct involvement in his life, does he succumb to the physical desire of such a woman? More than that, how does the Torah permit such a union?
Chazal tell us, “The Torah only spoke against the Yetzer Hara,” meaning to say that since we are afraid, he will marry her anyway, Hashem, in His kindness, permitted it so he doesn’t transgress. The understanding of the great urgency of his desire is clear to Hashem, and He therefore gave a dispensation for it.
However, even though in this specific case Hashem made an exception, we shouldn’t get it into our heads that any time we really want something, we can do it and Hashem will let it slide. On the contrary, from the fact that Hashem made this explicit exception, we should recognize that what we do very much matters, and He does very much care. Additionally, in these pesukim, we are taught another very important lesson to help us fight against the Yetzer Hara, as our Sages say.
The word for desire, here, is ‘cheshek.’ It is stronger than a simple desire, which is ‘cheifetz.’ In Tanach, we find it used several times. It is used when Chamor discussed his son Shechem’s attachment to Dina, daughter of Yaakov. It is also used in relation to the things Shlomo HaMelech built and did.
Kabbalistically, Shechem’s soul cleaved to Dina. It was more than base desire, but a deep desire to connect to the spiritual and holy. The soul of R’ Chanina ben Tradyon was trapped in Shechem, and Dina freed that soul and allowed it to come to the good side. Similarly, the desires of Shlomo, the wisest of men, were surely possessed of deep meaning and intent.
The Torah is telling us that this soldier senses a deep reason to take this woman. It is destiny; it must be done for some purpose like that of Shechem and Dina. But the soldier was wrong. At the end, the Torah tells us, “if you will not want her...”
It’s actually an announcement that he will not want her. He will not even have a base desire for her, and this is the way the Torah speaks, “against the Yetzer Hara.” The Evil Inclination will push you to sin, because this act is morally correct, it is for a higher purpose, and you are doing the right thing. But this is smoke and mirrors. The Torah says, “Though you think you have a deep passion for the good, this is just trickery. You will end up seeing the truth and being disgusted. So it is with all the drives the Yetzer Hara puts in you. Don’t let yourself be fooled.”
One Shabbos, during a break in an Agudah Convention, a certain gadol went for a walk with another Rav to get some fresh air. As they approached the boardwalk, the sage asked the younger rabbi to hold his hand.
When the younger man asked for an explanation, the older Rosh Yeshiva said, “There are immodestly-dressed women here and I want to close my eyes as I walk.”
Surprised that the sage, who had been a senior citizen for many years, would be concerned about this, the fellow asked, “What about me? Shouldn’t I have to close my eyes as well?” “I don’t know YOUR Yetzer Hara,” replied the gadol, “I only know mine.”
©2025 – J. Gewirtz
