UNMARRIED TEACHER
How may an unmarried man serve as a teacher or tutor?
The Mishnah teaches that an unmarried man should not be a schoolteacher of young children. The concern is that the melamed's encountering the mothers who bring their children will lead to inappropriate familiarity and yichud.¹ The Rambam and Shulchan Aruch rule accordingly. The melamed's wife need not be present in the classroom, and it's sufficient that she's at home while he teaches elsewhere.²
In a place where mothers did not bring their children to the teacher, some poskim held that it's allowed.³ Even if a mother occasionally brings her son, some allowed it as long as it isn't a regular occurrence.⁴ Others forbade it regardless, since mothers in any event come to check on their children, bring them food, and the like.⁵
The early acharonim already ask why the widespread custom is not particular about this halacha.⁶ Some explain that it was a decree the community could not uphold, for otherwise not enough teachers would have been found.⁷ Indeed, the poskim who permit it often note that without this leniency, Torah could chas v'shalom be forgotten.⁸ Others add that since the accepted custom is lenient, no protest is made.⁹
Several poskim emphasize that the essential requirement is yiras Shomayim: a G-d-fearing bochur may teach, while one lacking yiras Shomayim is unfit even if he is married.¹⁰ Others question this reasoning, but agree that whoever does teach must certainly be a yerei Shomayim.¹¹
Some suggest that circumstances have changed: in the times of Chazal most trades involved no contact with women, so there was reason to single out teaching, but today, when women are found in every workplace, there is no longer reason to bar an unmarried man specifically from teaching.¹²
Furthermore, schools today operate in public buildings, where staff and other teachers are constantly coming and going, and parents rarely enter the classroom, so the original concern is somewhat mitigated.¹³
The Rebbe, asked about hiring unmarried teachers, responded that one should try as much as possible to conform with the Mishnah that teachers be married, and that even those who accept a position before marriage should be obligated and urged to marry as soon as possible.¹⁴
1. קידושין פב ע"א. 2. רמב"ם הל' איסורי ביאה פכ"ב הי"ג ובמ"מ שם. שו"ע אה"ע סי' כ"ב ס"כ ובב"ש ס"ק י"ט. 3. על פי הב"ח. ראה ערוה"ש סי' רמ"ה ס"כ. 4. תשורת ש"י מהדו"ק סי' ק"ע. 5. נמוקי הרי"ב יו"ד סי' כ"ב. 6. ראה בית הלל יו"ד סי' רמ"ה. שו"ת לחם רב סי' ד'. ועוד. 7. כנסת הגדולה יו"ד סי' רמ"ה הגה"ט אות י"א, וראה מש"כ שם. 8. תעלומות לב ח"א יו"ד סי' ו'. 9. מירא דכיא - מטה שמעון ח"ג סי' י'. 10. יפה ללב ח"ג יו"ד סי' קמ"ה אות י"ז. 11. ראה צי"א ח"ו סי' מ' פכ"ו. 12. ספר דבר הלכה. וראה הלכות מלמדים ע' רל"ז. 13. ראה שו"ע אה"ע סי' כ"ב ס"ט לענין פתח פתוח לרשות הרבים. 14. מקדש מלך ח"ג ע' נ"ז
