Why was the soccer field wet on a sunny day? The players dribbled all over it.
What do you call a person who walks back and forth screaming one minute, then sits down weeping uncontrollably the next? A soccer coach.
Why did the Hebrew word go to the doctor? It had a kaf.
How do trees get online? They just log on!
What do you call a skeleton with only a head? A nobody
When you look for something, why is it always in the last place you look? Because when you find it, you stop looking.
Why didn’t the skeleton go to school? His heart wasn’t in it.
What kind of music do mummies love? Wrap music.
David who worked in finance on Wall Street decided to take his family to the Catskill Mountains for a long weekend getaway, when the power suddenly went out. This was bad news for David because it meant that he couldn't recharge his smart phone. When the battery finally died, he couldn't communicate with his office at all. He also couldn't Google, Facebook, email, Tweet, or surf the web. And of course, no apps to play with. On top of that, it was raining – so his entire family was forced to stay inside. So David started to talk to his wife Sarah and his two children for a few hours. After a while he said to them, "You know, you guys seem like nice people."
