The Gemara (Sanhedrin 110a) contrasts two wives – Korach’s wife and the wife of Ohn ben Peles. The wife of Ohn ben Peles is associated with the beginning of the pasuk in Mishlei (14:1): חכמת נשים בנתה ביתה - ”The wisdom of women builds the house…”, while Korach’s wife is associated with the end of that same pasuk: ואולת בידיה תהרסנו - ”...and the foolish one, in her hands she will destroy it.”
There are different Midrashim which all say the same idea in different contexts regarding these two women. One Medrash states that Korach came home from the inauguration of the Levi’im. The purification process by which the Levi’im were dedicated to Service in the Mishkon involved their being shaved from head to toe. Furthermore, Moshe Rabbeinu made a tenufah with each of them (i.e., he lifted each of the Levi’im and waved them back and forth).
Korach came home all shaven and his shocked wife asked him, “What happened to you?” Korach told her that Moshe did this to all the Levi’im, and not only that but he picked them up and waved them around. Korach then described to his wife that Moshe dressed up his brother Aharon like a beautiful bride. Korach’s wife mocked him: “What are you – an animal? You let Moshe shave you like a sheep?” She then asked, “What did Moshe tell you?” Korach answered, “He told us the parsha of tzitzis.” She said, “Moshe is making fun of you. First, he shaves you and picks you up like an animal. Then he tells you these ridiculous laws about tzitzis. I will show you how ridiculous it is.” She took a garment that was totally made of techeles [dyed blue wool] and told her husband to inquire of Moshe whether such a garment also needed tzitzis. Korach came back and told his wife that Moshe responded that such a garment indeed needed tzitzis. She mocked this ruling: If a single strand of techeles on each corner of a white garment exempts the garment from further tecehles, why does a garment that is entirely techeles need any additional blue threads?
This is what motivated Korach to start up with Moshe. His wife told him that he was a fool for meekly going along with whatever Moshe told him to do. This is what one woman did to her husband.
On the other hand, Ohn ben Peles’ wife was a woman “whose wisdom built her house.” She saved her husband. When Korach was trying to recruit him to be part of the rebellion, his wife convinced him that he had nothing to gain from it. “What difference does it make to you whether you are the lowly subordinate of Moshe Rabbeinu or the lowly subordinate of Korach?” Ohn ben Peles told his wife that her argument was persuasive, but he had already promised Korach that he would join his rebellion confronting Moshe and Aharon, and that Korach was on the way now to pick him up.
Mrs. Ben Peles came up with a plan to save her husband. She got him drunk and he fell asleep on his bed in the back of his tent. She sat at the door of the tent and removed her hair covering. Korach’s representatives saw her on the doorstep with her hair uncovered and they ran away so as not to gaze upon a woman dressed immodestly. In the meantime, they went to the Moshe-Korach confrontation without him, and they were subsequently swallowed up by the earth, but Ohn ben Peles was saved by his wife.
The Gemara here emphasizes the power of a wife, for good or for bad. A wife can goad her husband on to foolishly start up with a superior – which was the downfall of Korach, who otherwise was a pikeach [very clever person]. On the other hand, a wife can be the salvation of her husband, sparing him embarrassment and tragedy, as was the case with Mrs. Ben Peles, who saved her husband.
R’ Frand points out two very interesting observations on this Gemara and these Midrashim. The first observation is that these were people who were willing to start up with Moshe Rabbeinu. Chazal say “Whoever disputes his Rabbi is like one who disputes the Shechinah” (Sanhedrin 110a). Are these pious individuals or impious individuals? Yet these same people, who are willing to start a machlokes with Moshe Rabbeinu, run the other way as soon as they see a woman with her hair uncovered. This is incongruous. We would assume that such people are not observant of Torah and mitzvos at all. No! Their reaction to seeing a woman with her hair uncovered is “That is our red line. We refuse to cross that line!” The great irony is that they are willing to rebel against their Torah Master, but run from the sin of gazing at a married woman’s natural hair.
The other observation he cites is that these people were holy Jews. Chas Vesholom! They would never look at a woman with her hair uncovered. Nevertheless, they were drawn into a machlokes against their Torah authority. How can a person be so holy and so religious and so meticulous in mitzvah observance and yet show such disregard for fundamental principles regarding Kavod Torah and Kavod HaRav?
The truth of the matter is that we see this happening all the time. A person can demonstrate all the outward signs of frumkeit and piety, but still not think twice about making a machlokes in the community or making a machlokes with a rov. A person can consider himself a man of great religiosity and integrity, but show a lack of basic respect and Derech Eretz for his fellow man and teachers. This problem goes all the way back to the time of Korach! Unfortunately, people who will not look at the uncovered hair of a woman will still make a machlokes at the drop of a hat. Making a machlokes is also a negative prohibition!
R’ Frand relates that he heard a story from a prison chaplain about a Jew who was sitting in prison, for not the best of reasons. The chaplain brought him a lulav and esrog for Succos. The prisoner told the chaplain “I am makpid on using an esrog with a pitum!” He did not want the esrog because he is makpid on a pitum, and yet he is in jail for very justified reasons! This is so incongruous. A person can feel himself so holy – and yet start a machlokes! It is all a matter of priorities.
R’ Tzvi Kaplan shlita, also often relates, that he knows a prison chaplain in America, and from time to time he speaks to him, and he is always shocked about the amount of strictly kosher mehadrin meals Jewish prisoners in America demand.