The Torah commands us (17:5), כקרח יהיה ולא וכעדתו, "Don't be like Korach and his congregation." From here, we learn that we should do everything possible to avoid being involved in a machlokes.
Before World War Two, in a city in Romania, there were two large chassidic courts. Each one had their shochet, and each court claimed that only their shochet slaughters properly. Both argued that the meat of the other shochet was treif. A bitter machlokes ensued, lasting two years, until the Nazis came, r'l, and the city was destroyed.
A righteous Jew, Reb Yitzchak Wertzberger zt'l, lived in this city, and he refused to take part in the machlokes. He ate from both shechitos because both shochtim were yirei Hashem. He said that the day he gets involved in the machlokes, he will leave the city.
One day, someone asked Reb Yitzchak, "Why doesn't your rebbe speak up in favor of our shochet?" Reb Yitzchak replied, "It is because of the machlokes that all the troubles began, and you want my rebbe to have a part in this?" Reb Yitzchak put his hand to his head and shouted, "Oy. What did I do? I just spoke about the machlokes!" He came home and told his wife that they must leave immediately. "We can't stay in this city anymore." It was Thursday. Not an easy day to pick up and run. But she was a loyal wife (an בעלה רצון העושה כשרה אשה), and they packed up that day and left the city. They moved to Arad, Romania.
This move saved their lives. Soon after, the Germans came to the city where the machlokes reigned; almost no one survived. Today, Reb Yitzchak has grandchildren who are erlicher Yidden, some of them poskim and magidei shiur, and they have gratitude to Reb Yitzchak, who fled from machlokes, saving their lives.
In Shechetz, Poland, there were two shochtim, and it was debated who was the primary shochet. This resulted in a machlokes. The Pilitzer Rav zt'l (author of Sifsei Tzaddik) wrote to one of the shochtim, "Machlokes is fire and one must run away from fire. Pick up your feet and leave Shechetz right away." Unfortunately, the shochet didn’t receive the letter. The letter fell into the hands of someone who wanted him to continue being the shochet in Shechetz, so he didn't deliver the letter. The shochet was niftar shortly afterwards. The fire of the machlokes consumed him. The family never forgave the person who withheld the letter.
A close student of Reb Shlomo Zalman Auerbach zt'l tells that many years ago, he was in the home of Reb Shlomo Zalman, when several young men entered, and shouted and spoke with chutzpah to this gadol hador. (They were protesting a certain halachic leniency that Reb Shlomo Zalman had suggested. Even though Reb Shlomo Zalman never actually paskened that way, and it was just a suggestion and an approach in halachah that he was considering.)
Reb Shlomo Zalman listened to their complaints and shouts with calmness, even with a smile on his face, as though they were speaking to someone else and not him. When they left, the student asked Reb Shlomo Zalman how he managed to remain so calm. Reb Shlomo Zalman replied, "Let me tell you a story that happened in the Shaarei Chesed neighborhood where I grew up, and then you will understand."
Reb Shlomo Zalman told his student about Reb Aharon Cohen zt'l, the Chofetz Chaim's son-in-law, who came to live in the Shaarei Chesed neighborhood. "We were all delighted when we heard that this gadol would come to our neighborhood. The community arranged for Reb Aharon Cohen a place to live, furniture, and all his needs. He lived in the Shaarei Chesed neighborhood for a few months, and it was a great privilege for all of us. But suddenly, Reb Aharon Cohen disappeared. No one knew where he went. Even his neighbors didn't know where he went."
They announced in beis medresh, "Whoever knows where Reb Aharon Cohen is should come forward and tell us." An elderly person came forward and said that he saw Reb Aharon leaving the city in a wagon packed with all his belongings. He was headed to the city of Yaffo. Everyone was shocked. Why did Reb Aharon leave them? The community sent messengers to Reb Aharon's home in Yaffo to ask him.
Reb Aharon greeted the messengers warmly and expressed his appreciation for everything the Shaarei Chesed community did for him. Then Reb Aharon told them the following: "When I said goodbye to my father-in-law, the Chofetz Chaim, I asked him where I should live, whether in Shaarei Chesed community of Yerushalayim, Tzfas, or Yaffo. The Chofetz Chaim replied that it doesn't make a difference. "However", the Chofetz Chaim added, "this I request from you. Promise me with a handshake that if there is a machlokes in the city you choose, pick up your feet and run away from there. Never go to a place where there is a machlokes, and if a machlokes breaks out there, leave immediately." "I did as my father-in-law requested. I gave him my hand as in promise, and with tears and with deep emotions, we said goodbye. Lately, a machlokes broke out in the Shaarei Tzedek neighborhood regarding the nomination of city gaba'im. Since machlokes was so severe in my father-in-law's eyes, and he even forced me to shake hands that I won't live in a place of machlokes, I didn't have a choice other than to leave right away. I didn't even have time to say goodbye to the good people in Shaarei Chesed."
Reb Shlomo Zalman Auerbach said, "When the messengers returned from Yaffo and repeated what they heard from Reb Aharon Cohen, it made a deep impression on my young mind. I decided that I will always keep away from machlokes. Now you understand how I was able to remain silent when these people came and shouted and protested against me. Since my youth, I have trained myself to avoid machlokes."
Rav Shaul Kardi Shlita, the Rav of the Keser Torah community in Mexico, told me that ten years ago, he asked Reb Matisyahu Solomon, the mashgiach of Lakewood yeshiva, "What is the secret of the success of the Lakewood yeshiva? There are thousands of students, the budget is millions of dollars, and yet there is an abundance. The siyata dishmaya is beyond natural." Reb Solomon replied, "I have been here for twenty years. There are four roshei yeshivos. From time to time, we gather for a meeting, and we discuss matters that are of great importance. There are times that there are differences in opinion among the roshei yeshiva, but there is never a machlokes." In other words, they are allowed to think differently, but they never end in dispute.
Reb Kardi also told me that once, towards the end of Reb Aharon Kotler’s zt'l life, he grabbed onto his son, Reb Shneur (who would take over the yeshiva after his father's demise) and told him, "Run away from machlokes like one runs away from fire."
The Chazon Ish zt'l said, "The Torah doesn't have to tell us not to start a machlokes when we are in the wrong, because then it is obvious that we mustn't make a machlokes. The pasuk is talking to those who are innocent, yet there is a machlokes against them for no reason. Even so, the Torah says, כקרח יהיה ולא, don't act like Korach. Seek ways to end the machlokes.
The pasuk says (16:12), לדתן לקרא משה וישלח ולאבירם, "And Moshe sent to call for Dasan and Aviram." They didn't come. Later (16:25), ואבירם דתן אל וילך משה ויקם, "Moshe stood up and went to Dasan and Aviram." He was trying to make peace with them. Rashi (16:22) writes, במחלוקת מחזיקין שאין מכאן, "From here we learn that one shouldn't hold on to a machlokes." We should try to make amends and stop machlokes as quickly as possible.
Rashi (Sanhedrin 110.) elaborates, "If a machlokes has already begun, it is forbidden to keep it alive. We must learn from Moshe Rabbeinu. He forgave Dasan and Aviram for disgracing him, and he himself went to them to stop the machlokes."
There is a Talmudic concept called "chazakah," which means we assume that what was, will probably continue to be so. The Chasam Sofer says that מחזיקין אין במחלוקת can be translated as, "When it comes to machlokes, we don't assume (חזקה) that what was in the past will continue to be." Dasan and Aviram were always making machlokes. Our first encounter with Dasan and Aviram takes place in Mitzrayim, where it states (Shemos 2:13), נצים עברים אנשים שני והנה , "[Moshe saw] two Jewish people fighting." Over there, Rashi tells us that they were Dasan and Aviram. From the very beginning, we find them to be the instigators of quarrels. Later, Dasan and Aviram slandered to Pharaoh, saying that Moshe killed the Mitzri. This forced Moshe to escape Mitzrayim (see Rashi, Shemos 2:15). Dasan and Aviram fought with Moshe when the workload in Mitzrayim became heavier on Bnei Yisrael (see Rashi, Shemos 5:20). They also disregarded Moshe's command and left over manna for the next day (see Rashi, Shemos 2:13). At the machlokes of Korach, Dasan and Aviram were there again.
The Chasam Sofer zt'l writes that Moshe had every reason to say, "Dasan and Aviram are always fighting with me. They create machlokes at every opportunity. It is impossible to make peace with such people." It would have been rational for Moshe to claim this, but Moshe didn't. He tried to make peace with them. He thought, "Perhaps this time I can make peace with them." But במחלקת מחזיקין אין, when it comes to machlokes, we don't make assumptions. Perhaps this time you can end the machlokes.
Reb Shmuel Wosner zt'l was once asked how he merited such a long life. He answered that it was because he avoided machlokes. He told the following mashal from the Imrei Noam:
A lion asked a sheep to smell his breath and tell him how it smelled. The sheep sniffed and said, "Your breath smells terrible." The lion got angry, shouting, "Where is your respect for the king of all animals?" and devoured the sheep. Then the lion asked the wolf for his opinion. The wolf saw what happened to the sheep, so the wolf replied, "My master, your breath smells lovely." "You're lying! How dare you lie to me!" and the lion devoured the wolf. Then the king went to the fox and said, "Smell my breath and tell me how it is." The fox pointed to his nose and said, "My nose is stuffed. I can't smell anything."
The Imrei Noam says that this is what one should do when a machlokes is raging. Just stay away because getting involved will only bring you trouble.
Reb Wosner zt'l added, "I am a Rav in Bnei Brak for the last seventy years, and I always avoided machlokes. Someone who has a stuffed nose and doesn't smell will live long. נפשו מצרות שומר ולשונו פיו שומר, by guarding your speech, you have saved yourself a lot of heartache and problems."
When children see their parents running away from machlokes, they will do the same. If they see their parents getting involved in a machlokes, they won't know any other way.
The Gemara (Gittin 55b) says that the Beis HaMikdash was destroyed because of קמצא קמצא ובר. The miforshim ask how קמצא was the one to cause the Churban? We all understand that it was קמצא בר who slandered to the Roman king, and he was the one who made a blemish in the korban that the king sent. This led up to the Churban. But how did kamtza cause the Churban?
The Maharsha says that it is possible that קמצא was the father of קמצא בר. (קמצא בר means "the son of Kamtza", so it is likely that קמצא was the father). With this information, we can explain that קמצא, the father, didn't train his son to run away from machlokes. Therefore, קמצא is also considered responsible for the Churban. If קמצא בר had seen his father forgiving and forgetting and learning to get along with others, he would have done the same. Instead, קמצא בר saw his father fighting for his rights, never forgiving, and therefore, as an adult, קמצא בר did the same. It is thus correct to say that the Churban came from קמצא בר and also from קמצא.
