When Korach confronted Moshe Rabbeinu and accused him of raising himself up above all the other Yidden, he argued that “the entire congregation is holy.” Rashi explains that Korach was drawing attention to the fact that although only Moshe ascended Har Sinai, all the Yidden heard the Aseres Hadibros from Hashem.
The Ksav Sofer adds an intriguing idea. When Moshe came back down the mountain after the Torah was given to find the Yidden dancing around the Eigel, he immediately sought to find a limud zechus for their behavior. The Yidden are not at fault, he protested to Hashem, as only he heard the Aseres Hadibros (including the prohibition of idol worship). Therefore, they should be forgiven.
Now Korach was challenging Moshe and contradicting him. “All the Yidden are holy,‐ he said — they all heard the Aseres Hadibros being given and yes, they all sinned afterward. But, he added, they did teshuvah afterward, making them baalei teshuvah, and the Torah tells us that “In the place where baalei teshuvah stand, even perfect tzaddikim cannot stand” (Brachos 34). Therefore, not only are you not greater than all the other Yidden, Moshe Rabbeinu — you are in fact lesser than them, as you never repented after sinning!
The ability to do teshuvah and not only repair what we broke but actually grow from the experience is a tremendous gift from Hashem and one that we can often utilize in our relationships. Too often, couples get stuck on what went wrong in the past instead of looking for ways to avoid making the same mistakes again. Those who succeed in understanding the past in order to learn from it, often find that what they build afterward is so much stronger.
No one wants to experience conflict in relationships, but most of the time, some degree of conflict is practically inevitable. If we deal with conflict in the right way — by apologizing for what we did wrong and resolving to try better in the future — we can im yirtzeh Hashem enhance our relationships tremendously.
