THE BEAUTY OF MODESTY (V)
The Weekly Farbrengen | June 19, 2026
Print This Article
View Original PDF

THE BEAUTY OF MODESTY (V)

The Weekly Farbrengen | June 19, 2026

ENCOURAGING MODESTY

Reb Chaim Meir Friedland related: "On Shabbos Parshas Chukas 5707 (1947) my ufruf took place in 770. At the Kiddush that was held after davening, the Rebbe, then the son-in-law of the Frierdiker Rebbe, spoke about the education of girls, and emphasized the need to raise each of them to be an eishes chayil, instead of trying to imitate the secular world. He also noted that girls do not have to conduct themselves like other girls in America who are taught 'to curtsy before the queen,' and they don’t have to know how to dance. They must only know Torah and how to conduct themselves in a manner of tznius."

Rabbi Mordechai Shmuel Ashkenazi, the Rov of Kfar Chabad, and his wife had yechidus in Tishrei 5729 (1968). The Rebbe asked Mrs. Ashkenazi: "What about the yiras shamayim of the girls and women in Kfar Chabad?" And without waiting for a response, he said: "The true test of yiras Shamayim is tznius and tahara." The Rebbe continued: "When you return to Eretz Yisroel, divide Kfar Chabad into districts, and arrange a tznius club in each area where they’ll study the appropriate halachos."

One summer evening in 5729 (1969), Reb Alexander Bin-Nun entered the Rebbe’s study for yechidus. He later related that the Rebbe had instructed him to speak about tznius during his forthcoming visit to Camp Emunah. The Rebbe emphasized that it would not suffice to speak about the concept of modesty in general, nor to speak of lofty tznius ideals. Rather, he should speak about plain and simple tznius: that the skirt should be the proper length, and so on.

After a nuclear reactor exploded in Chernobyl, causing radioactive fallout to spread throughout the entire region and placing the whole population in danger, Chassidim decided to transport local children to Eretz Yisroel and to settle them in Kfar Chabad. The first group arrived on the 11th of Av 5750 (1990). They included 96 girls, the youngest five-and-a-half, and the eldest, eighteen. The girls of course brought their clothing with them, and the organizers faced the challenge of introducing them to modest clothing. They wrote about their difficulties to the Rebbe, who responded immediately. Amongst other directives the Rebbe wrote that it must be stated that the long-held community standards could not be changed and that only a firm stance would prevent friction and set the standard. The Rebbe advised that nice modest clothing be bought for the immigrant girls, thus making modesty attractive.

MIVTZA TZNIUS

Two girls wrote to the Rebbe about tznius problems in their school. In a letter dated Chanukah 5730 (1969) the Rebbe wrote about Yiddishe women and their mission and then added in his own handwriting: "With blessings for success in mivtza tznius and for good news in this area soon." Two months later, the girls received another letter in the Rebbe’s name, signed by the secretary: "In connection with your letter from motza’ei Shabbos 12 Kislev about dressing modestly, please provide updates."

In an interesting exchange between the Rebbe and a tznius committee in Yerushalayim, the Rebbe addresses their suggestion to add tznius to the ten mivtzoim. In the letter, dated 17 Shvat 5738 (1978), after encouraging the work of the committee and even sending a contribution towards their future activities, the Rebbe adds the following: "P.S. As to announcing a special campaign for fixing tznius within the framework of Chabad’s mivtzoim, it is dubious for a number of reasons as to whether we can task the young men and women who are the bulk of Chabad’s activists with this type of campaign. It seems more appropriate for a Rabbinical organization which you’re in contact with, and this will be the most effective and successful route."

THE TRADITIONAL WAY

The Rebbe once wrote in a letter: Soon after my father-in-law, the Frierdiker Rebbe, arrived in America in the year 5700 (1940), he announced that his shlichus in this land was to transform it into a place of Torah and yiras Shamayim. There were those who asked him, "But isn’t this, after all, America, not like The Old Country, der alter heim?" The Frierdiker Rebbe replied, "America is no different! With regard to Torah and mitzvos, America is no exception!" The Rebbe added: Yiddishe women must know that the very same Torah and mitzvos, and the very same principle—that "the entire nobility of a princess is within"—which applied in the Old Country apply in America as well.

ENCOURAGING MODESTY

Reb Chaim Meir Friedland related: "On Shabbos Parshas Chukas 5707 (1947) my ufruf took place in 770. At the Kiddush that was held after davening, the Rebbe, then the son-in-law of the Frierdiker Rebbe, spoke about the education of girls, and emphasized the need to raise each of them to be an eishes chayil, instead of trying to imitate the secular world. He also noted that girls do not have to conduct themselves like other girls in America who are taught 'to curtsy before the queen,' and they don’t have to know how to dance. They must only know Torah and how to conduct themselves in a manner of tznius."

Rabbi Mordechai Shmuel Ashkenazi, the Rov of Kfar Chabad, and his wife had yechidus in Tishrei 5729 (1968). The Rebbe asked Mrs. Ashkenazi: "What about the yiras shamayim of the girls and women in Kfar Chabad?" And without waiting for a response, he said: "The true test of yiras Shamayim is tznius and tahara." The Rebbe continued: "When you return to Eretz Yisroel, divide Kfar Chabad into districts, and arrange a tznius club in each area where they’ll study the appropriate halachos."

One summer evening in 5729 (1969), Reb Alexander Bin-Nun entered the Rebbe’s study for yechidus. He later related that the Rebbe had instructed him to speak about tznius during his forthcoming visit to Camp Emunah. The Rebbe emphasized that it would not suffice to speak about the concept of modesty in general, nor to speak of lofty tznius ideals. Rather, he should speak about plain and simple tznius: that the skirt should be the proper length, and so on.

After a nuclear reactor exploded in Chernobyl, causing radioactive fallout to spread throughout the entire region and placing the whole population in danger, Chassidim decided to transport local children to Eretz Yisroel and to settle them in Kfar Chabad. The first group arrived on the 11th of Av 5750 (1990). They included 96 girls, the youngest five-and-a-half, and the eldest, eighteen. The girls of course brought their clothing with them, and the organizers faced the challenge of introducing them to modest clothing. They wrote about their difficulties to the Rebbe, who responded immediately. Amongst other directives the Rebbe wrote that it must be stated that the long-held community standards could not be changed and that only a firm stance would prevent friction and set the standard. The Rebbe advised that nice modest clothing be bought for the immigrant girls, thus making modesty attractive.

MIVTZA TZNIUS

Two girls wrote to the Rebbe about tznius problems in their school. In a letter dated Chanukah 5730 (1969) the Rebbe wrote about Yiddishe women and their mission and then added in his own handwriting: "With blessings for success in mivtza tznius and for good news in this area soon." Two months later, the girls received another letter in the Rebbe’s name, signed by the secretary: "In connection with your letter from motza’ei Shabbos 12 Kislev about dressing modestly, please provide updates."

In an interesting exchange between the Rebbe and a tznius committee in Yerushalayim, the Rebbe addresses their suggestion to add tznius to the ten mivtzoim. In the letter, dated 17 Shvat 5738 (1978), after encouraging the work of the committee and even sending a contribution towards their future activities, the Rebbe adds the following: "P.S. As to announcing a special campaign for fixing tznius within the framework of Chabad’s mivtzoim, it is dubious for a number of reasons as to whether we can task the young men and women who are the bulk of Chabad’s activists with this type of campaign. It seems more appropriate for a Rabbinical organization which you’re in contact with, and this will be the most effective and successful route."

THE TRADITIONAL WAY

The Rebbe once wrote in a letter: Soon after my father-in-law, the Frierdiker Rebbe, arrived in America in the year 5700 (1940), he announced that his shlichus in this land was to transform it into a place of Torah and yiras Shamayim. There were those who asked him, "But isn’t this, after all, America, not like The Old Country, der alter heim?" The Frierdiker Rebbe replied, "America is no different! With regard to Torah and mitzvos, America is no exception!" The Rebbe added: Yiddishe women must know that the very same Torah and mitzvos, and the very same principle—that "the entire nobility of a princess is within"—which applied in the Old Country apply in America as well.

PDF Preview