At the encouragement of others, a psychologist came to see the rebbe. at outset of their meeting, the psychologist was not saying much. the rebbe asked him if he had anything on his mind, to which he replied, “not really.” “So, why are you here?” the rebbe inquired. the professor responded, “i really don’t know why i’m here. i was told by a few people that it’s important to come to see you. So i said, why not? i’m in new York; i might as well.” the rebbe said, “You know, i’m not comfortable with someone sitting here who doesn’t want to be here. but since you’re already here, there is a concept called hashgacha pratis, divine providence, which states that everything has a reason and purpose. there’s surely a reason why we are meeting. maybe you have something to ask, something to share?” the psychologist replied, “okay. i have a question. Why am i here? Who are you? What is a rebbe?” the rebbe turned serious and said to him, “i’ll tell you. a rebbe is a friend.” the man looked at the rebbe, anticipating hearing something more, but the rebbe didn’t continue. Perplexed, the psychologist asked the rebbe: “a friend – is that it? i have many friends.” the rebbe replied, “allow me to define what a friend is, and then you’ll tell me how many friends you have.” the rebbe explained, “a friend is somebody who you can speak to as you speak to yourself – no defences, no fear of judgment, no condescension, heart to heart as you speak to yourself, absolute trust. tell me, how many friends like that do you have?” the fellow said,”‘i don’t have any such friends. i don’t think many people have friends like that.” the rebbe continued, “that’s what a rebbe is. a true trusting friend. all the layers, all the masks that we put up to maneuver and negotiate the world, disappear when you’re with a rebbe.”
