ויעתק משם ההרה מקדם לבית אל ויט אהלה “From there he relocated to the mountain east of Beis El and pitched his tent” (Bereishis 12:8).
The word ‘ahalo‘ in the expression “He pitched his tent (ahalo)” is spelled aleph hay lamed hay. Thus, the kesiv [the way it is written] is actually “her tent” rather than the k’ri [the way it is read] which is “his tent.” Rashi comments on this, saying that Avraham first pitched his wife’s tent, and only afterwards pitched his own tent.
Why did he do that? The Levush Ha’Orah, one of Rashi’s super-commentaries, explains that Avraham did this to protect the tznius of Sorah. She should have a tent to move into immediately, and not need to wait out in the open while he first pitched his tent. One of the outstanding character traits of Sorah was her modesty. Chazal say that Avraham didn’t even know what she looked like until they arrived in Mitzrayim. Her privacy and comfort drove Avraham to prioritize the setting up of her living quarters above setting up his own tent.
How long does it take to pitch a tent? We are not talking about hours or days! And yet, the Levush HaOrah explains that this is what Rashi is saying. The sensitivity of Avraham for his wife’s privacy was such that by employing this kri u’ksiv, the pasuk is alluding to the fact that he pitched her tent before his tent.
Every year, we mention that sefer Bereishis is about the maxim ma’aseh avos siman l’banim [the actions of the forefathers foreshadow the actions of the children]. This lesson is also ma’aseh avos siman l’banim. A Jewish husband must be sensitive to the feelings and sensitivities of his wife.
This dovetails with a Gemara in Bava Metzia (59a). Rav Chelbo says that a person must always be careful about the honor of his wife because blessing resides in a person’s home only by virtue of his wife. He brings another pasuk as a proof from this week’s parsha: “And Avraham benefited because of her” (Bereishis 12:16). This means that a person’s honoring his wife is a segulah for parnassah. That is what the Gemara says!
This is ironic because everybody under the sun wants a “segulah for parnassah“. The Gemara gives an explicit segulah for parnassah—a person should honor his wife! Come and see how particular Avraham was for the honor of Sorah—he pitched her tent first so she did not need to stand there for an extra ten minutes out in the open.
Rav Mordechai Druk in his sefer Darash Mordechai makes an interesting observation: Why is a person’s honoring his wife a segulah for parnassah? How does that work? He explains that when Chavah ate from the eitz hada’as and then gave it to Adam, they were both cursed. Her curse was that “...your desire shall be to your husband and he shall rule over you” (Bereishis 3:16). Her honor was thus impacted because her husband would now dominate her. So, if a person honors his wife and tries to lighten that curse then, measure for measure, his own curse will be lessened. What is the curse that Adam received? “By the sweat of your brow you shall eat bread...” (Bereishis 3:19) In other words, you need to shvitz for parnassah. If a man honors his wife and makes her curse lighter, his own curse will be lightened, and his livelihood will come easier. (R’ Frand)
