ויהי ריב בין רעי מקנה אברם ובין רעי מקנה לוט והכנעני והפרזי אז ישב בארץ “There was a quarrel between the shepherds of the flocks of Avram and the shepherds of the flocks of Lot, and the Canani and the Perizi then dwelt in the land.” (Bereishis 13:7).
A fight broke out between the respective herdsmen of Avram and Lot. Lot’s shepherds let their livestock graze on property that was not theirs, basically stealing from the owners of those properties. Avram instructed his shepherds to muzzle the cattle when they are on land that belonged to other people so they would not graze where they were not allowed to graze.
Avram tells Lot, “Lot, I love you like a nephew, but it is time for us to part ways. You go whichever way you want to go, but we cannot live together anymore.” That is what happens. Lot journeys on to Sodom.
The question must be asked: Avram had influence over thousands of people. Why can’t he sit down with his own flesh and blood and reason with him? Why can’t he influence Lot to instruct his shepherds not to steal other people’s crops?
The answer is that Lot felt that he had a legal right to graze his cattle wherever he wanted! The pasuk emphasizes, “The Canani and the Perizi then dwelt in the land.” Lot reasoned that Avram was destined to inherit all the Land of Canaan. Based on Hashem’s Promise, it really belonged to Avram. Avram was an elderly man who did not have children. Who would inherit the land from him? It would be his next of kin, namely, Lot himself. By this convoluted logic, Lot felt that he was merely taking what was soon going to be his anyhow. That is why he felt that there was no theft involved, and he could not be convinced otherwise.
It is possible to have influence over people when they know they are wrong. But if people believe they are right, talking to them from today until tomorrow is not going to help!
Rav Ruderman, zt”l, used to say: It says in Koheles: “Don’t be too much of a tzadik... Don’t be too much of a rasha.” (Koheles 7:16-17). Rav Ruderman used to ask, “Which is worse?” He would answer, it is better to be too much of a rasha than too much of a tzadik. When a person is wicked, he knows that he is wicked, and he knows that he needs to change. But a person who views himself as a tzadik never considers the possibility that he might be wrong and that he, too, might need to change. It is impossible to talk to such people. A classic example was Lot. He felt that “al pi din” [by legal right] he was permitted to graze his cattle on other people’s land. So, there was no way he could be talked out of it.
Avram realized this. Therefore, he bid his nephew farewell and said, “Lot you go your way and I will go my way.” (R’ Frand)
