Learning from the Avos and Imahos
According to Yalkut Shimoni, 11 Cheshvan marks the yahrzeit of Rachel Imeinu—indeed, the parashiyos we are currently learning are filled with the stories of the heroism and the splendor of our forefathers and foremothers. Klal Yisrael is built upon their shoulders by learning from their example; as we are taught, לבנים סימן אבות מעשה, the actions of our fathers are instructive to their children.
This is the reason the Torah teaches us these stories—solely so that we should learn from them and walk in their footsteps. The Torah didn’t tell us all their stories, only the ones that are instructive to us. Regarding Rachel Imeinu, the Torah brings the entire incident wherein she gave the signs to her sister Leah—knowing that with this she was forfeiting her marriage to Yaakov Avinu and becoming the mother of the Shevatim of Klal Yisrael.
But the sefarim hakedoshim add a point that is also apparent from the pesukim: When later Rachel asked Leah to give her the dudaim that Reuven had brought, Leah angrily said: דודאי את גם ולקחת אישי את קחתך המעט בני, was your taking my husband insignificant—and now to take even my son’s dudaim! And Rachel remained silent.
The question arises: Didn’t Leah feel any gratitude to Rachel for what she had done for her?! Is this the way to speak to someone who had given her so much?!
The True Level of Rachel’s Sacrifice
From this, the sefarim hakedoshim conclude that when Rachel gave the simanim to her sister, she didn’t tell her everything. Rachel didn’t tell Leah that she, Rachel, was really meant to marry Yaakov, and that he had given her the simanim for this purpose. She simply related these signs to Leah in a matter-of-fact way, so she would know what to do with them—all so she should feel no shame, embarrassment, or pain. Thus, Leah never knew the extent of Rachel’s sacrifice on her behalf!
Can we imagine such a level of generosity?! A person gives up her entire future to save another person from embarrassment—and does not even divulge a word to the recipient of that kindness—and, furthermore, hears complaints and remains silent.
The Torah tells us this so we will know that Klal Yisrael was and is built through this type of sacrifice and מדותיו על מעביר.
The first insight we must take from this incident is that so often it seems that we’re giving up everything, and we will be left with nothing. But in the end, we will receive far more than we gave up—as happened in the case of Rachel Imeinu.
Giving for Giving’s Sake
On a practical level, in His Torah, HaKadosh Baruch Hu is teaching us how to give, how a person should give of himself to others. Indeed, in Shulchan Aruch, Hilchos Tzedakah (Yoreh Deah 249:7), we learn that the most perfect and altruistic tzedakah is one in which the giver doesn’t know to whom he gives and the receiver doesn’t know from whom he received.
In truth, this is only logical. For when one gives money to another person and helps him establish himself, that person feels indebted to him, feeling that he must give him something in return—thus his giving is not complete; it’s somewhat transactional. But when a person gives in a hidden manner, the recipient doesn’t feel any need to reciprocate, and such giving is more complete.
Falsehood Cannot Stand
Often, a person can’t divulge what he has done for another person because the recipient will become humiliated due to the nature of what he has done for him, and sometimes it involves lashon hara about others. In such a case, a person should never feel cheated by not divulging anything to recipient. He shouldn’t think, “If only this person knew what I did for him....” To the contrary! Know that it’s so much better for you that he doesn’t know what you did for him.
We must battle with the falsehood that the yetzer hara always seeks to propagate, telling us that everything must be publicized, and one must be honored and lauded for everything that he does. Today, people publicize about themselves even things that they didn’t do....
But even if you were involved in some askanus ... is it really necessary to spread the word far and wide?! Sometimes, even if a person only stood in the same street in which the shadchan suggested the shidduch, he nevertheless takes all the credit for the shidduch.... This type of conduct is repugnant to any yerei Shamayim.
The Purpose of Giving
But we want to learn from our Imahos, we want to emulate them, and, like them, become vehicles for the Shechinah HaKedoshah. We do chessed and we give tzedakah because we want to emulate the Ribbono shel Olam, and through this merit pray that the Shechinah should rest upon us. This is the real reason we invest in tzedakah. Not so we should feel good, not because it will bring us satisfaction, and not because we must give him lest he die... and the entire world is resting upon us. A Yid invests in chessed only because he wants to emulate the Ribbono shel Olam—and just as HaKadosh Baruch Hu gives without the expectation of anything in return, so too, we do our best to do the same.
We give, and we give again... we daven for our friends even without their knowledge (We can tell a friend once a while to give him the good feeling that someone cares about him—but our giving isn’t at all based on his knowledge thereof).
The Best Type of Giving
Even better is when the recipient—who doesn’t know what you’ve done for him—comes over to you and accosts you for not doing anything for him... and you remain quiet... or you say, “Bli neder, I will see what I can do....” How wonderful is that? How altruistic and perfect it is? This is the chessed that the Torah talks about. This is the chessed of Rachel Imeinu.
This is a Yiddishe response, a response that brings a person shefah—and everyone can fulfill this type of chessed in his own way, because it’s not dependent on quantity. One needn’t be wealthy in order to do chessed—one only needs to be a Yid. The vessels to carry this out are found in every Yid’s heart. You can give a person in need a good word... you can give to him by davening for him. There’s an endless list of things you can do for another person without him even knowing about it.
We can be active for the shidduchim of their sons and daughters... making calls, suggesting shidduchim... and he doesn’t even need to know about it—and you will never know whether your efforts ever bore fruits. All you know is that you did altruistic and unconditional chessed for another person.
It is a great punishment when a person does something good and others become aware of it—so says the Chovos HaLevavos (Ch. 5)—because it detracts from the greatness of the mitzvah. And although one cannot always function in secrecy, he must know he should make the effort to do his chessed away from the limelight. If one wants to be a true Yid—following the pathway of our Avos and Imahos—he must invest in this type of giving, which builds the world.
The Ability to Change the World
We must be vigilant not to learn from the ways of “the street.” In our times—living as we do in a world that is so foolish and childish—when the urge to publicize everything is so strong, it is easy to think that we’re not making a difference in the world by doing good things in a modest and hidden manner. After all, we may think, there are others who publicize themselves in a far more obvious manner.
But we must know that by doing good things in the ways of our Avos and Imahos, we are tipping the scales of the world; we change the entire atmosphere in the world. And so, if the world is low, it is not enough to be just a little bit better....
A person may say, “I’m not like my friend who publicized himself all over... I told only my friends. My friend made a siyum haShas for six hundred people, and then disseminated the pictures—while I made a siyum only for my kehillah.” No. Look to live higher—and in this way you will elevate the entire world.
A world in which there are people who do altruistic chessed, without anyone’s knowledge, is a different world entirely—a far purer world.
Lighting Up the Darkness
We must internalize the fact that we influence others not only through direct words and actions. Tzaddikim purify the world through their avodas Hashem behind closed doors—and in this way they infuse a spirit of teshuvah into the hearts of their fellow Yidden in all four corners of the world. And it is not only tzaddikim—but it is a spiritual rule of the way our dark world functions. When we add light, the darkness is dissipated. החושך מן הרבה דוחה האור מן מעט. It doesn’t work according to the rules of the material world, which believes we must publicize the light in order to illuminate. That is not how the world is purified. We illuminate the darkness of the world by doing chessed, ruchniyus actions with mesirus nefesh. A person who lights a candle in the darkness—the amount of good he does for himself and his family cannot be overestimated. But the main thing is to think about how much G-dliness is brought into the world through this.
The Eternal Reward
Rachel Imeinu’s reward is one that continues to pay dividends to this day! It is an eternal reward. She received a reward that is worth more than all the money in the world. She merited to be on an exceptionally high level of connection to Yaakov Avinu, and to be the mother of Yosef HaTzaddik. And she remains our mother through our bitter and difficult galus, as we learn in the pesukim in Sefer Yirmiyahu: קול ה' אמר כה איננו כי בניה על להנחם מאנה בניה על מבכה רחל תמרורים בכי נהי נשמע ברמה, Thus said Hashem, “A voice is heard on high, wailing, bitter weeping, Rachel weeps for her children, she refuses to be consoled for her children, for they are gone” (Yirmiyahu 31:14–15).
In the zechus of her incredible sacrifice for her sister, Rachel merited the power of tefillah that no one else did—and it is she who continues to storm the Heavens for our return to Tzion. And we, for our part, turn to our Mother Rachel, knowing that her tears will bring the השלימה גאולה. The more we continue to emulate her ways, the more strength she receives—for she has with what to approach the Ribbono shel Olam and implore Him to finally redeem us from the bitter galus and bring us the Final Redemption.
