We say in Nishmas that it is impossible for a person to praise Hashem sufficiently. וריבי אלפים מאלף אחת על ...לך להודות מספיקים אנחנו אין שעשית ונפלאות ... ניסים הטובות פעמים רבבות, "We won't be able to satisfactorily praise you Hashem... not even for one millionth of the miracles and wonders that you performed for us."
Regarding the mitzvah of bikurim, which focuses on expressing gratitude, Rashi writes that we demonstrate טובה כפוי שאינך, that we aren’t ungrateful for Hashem's kindness. The question arises: why doesn’t Rashi write that the purpose of Bikurim is to thank and praise Hashem for His abundant blessings? We does Rashi limit the purpose to demonstrate that we aren't טובה כפוי, and merely recognize Hashem’s kindness?
Reb Moshe Feinstein zt'l replies that it is impossible to praise Hashem. As much as we will say, it will be insufficient. This is why Rashi writes that we express that we aren't טובה כפוי. We express awareness that the kindness came from Hashem. We want to praise Hashem, and we praise Hashem to the best of our abilities, but we know that as much praise we say, we didn't even begin.
Someone was walking towards Rav Shach zt'l, and even from a distance, Rav Shach noticed that this person was extremely happy about something. When he got closer, he told Rav Shach that he had given birth to a baby girl.
Rav Shach asked him, "This is good news that occurs daily... Yet, you seem to be extraordinarily happy."
The man replied, "I have been married for twenty years, and this is my first child. That's why I am so happy."
Soon after, another person came to the rosh yeshiva, Rav Shach, and appeared a bit sad. He told Rav Shach that he had given birth to a baby girl. "So why are you sad?" Rav Shach asked. The man replied, "I already have seven daughters; this is number eight. I was hoping for a boy."
Rav Shach told him about the person he had met earlier, the man who had a child, a girl, after twenty years of waiting. "He was extremely happy. He is about your age. If you had not had children in all these years, you would be as happy as him. So why should you be sad that you have seven other daughters?"
The kohen at a pidyon haben says to the father, טפי בעית מאי, "What do you want more?"
I heard from a grandfather who spoke at a pidyon haben that we can explain that the kohen is telling the father, טפי בעית מאי "What more can you possibly want in life? Hashem did so much kindness for you!"
An orphan came to Reb Yehudah Zev Segal, rosh yeshiva of Manchester zt'l, for advice. His father had died, and his mother asked him to take over his father's food business. Reb Segal agreed that under the circumstances, he should listen to his mother's requests and support the family. But the rosh yeshiva had one request: "Every night, when you daven maariv, and you say עמנו יום שבכל ניסיך על, 'For the miracles that occur to us every day,' stop at these words and think, 'What miracle did Hashem perform for me today?'"
This person says that he has been doing this nightly for forty years, and there was never a night when he couldn’t find a miracle that Hashem performed for him that day.
There is a humorous story about a poor person who lived in an old crumbling house at the edge of the city. He had a friend who owned a store. Once, his friend advised him to buy a lottery ticket. The poor man replied, "If I had a penny in my pocket, I would use it to buy food for my children. I wouldn't use it to buy a lottery ticket."
The store owner felt bad for his poor friend, so he said, "I will lend you the money. If you win, the prize is yours. And if you lose, you don't have to pay me anything."
The poor man's ticket won the lottery. The store owner discovered this in the middle of the night, and he figured that his friend would be happy to hear the good news, even if that meant waking him up from his sleep. So he went to the poor man's home in the middle of the night, woke him up, and told him the good news.
As soon as he heard that he had won the lottery, he began shouting at the store owner, "Where is your respect? How dare you wake up the wealthiest man in town in the middle of the night!?" And he went on and on. He was still in his rickety and small, poor man's home, but he had forgotten the poverty of his past and was living in his newly found wealth. But this isn't proper. When things turn around and become good for you, you mustn't forget the difficulties that preceded it. That will help you appreciate the good you have, and it will help you praise Hashem for His kindness.
The yomim tovim are מצרים ליציאת זכר, in memory of leaving Mitzrayim. We don't limit our joy to the present; we simultaneously remember our formative challenges and from where we were rescued and elevated.
The Mishnah (Avos 5:8) states, "Ten miracles occurred to our fathers in the Beis HaMikdash..." Reb Yechezkel Abramsky zt'l noted that the common theme of the miracles listed in the Mishnah is that we were spared from trouble and misfortune. The miracles aren't about wonderful things happening to people, like becoming wondrously wealthy or that the ill were miraculously healed. Instead the miracles listed are that everything went smoothly. For example, among the ten miracles of the Beis HaMikdash mentioned are: "No woman miscarried... the korbanos never spoiled.... A fly didn't come near the meat in the Beis HaMikdash... The rain didn't extinguish the fire on the mizbeiach..." Let us learn from this that when everything goes well, that is also a miracle, for which we must praise Hashem.
The Kav HaYashar (18) writes, "Everyone experiences miracles. Especially in recent times, when there is so much strife and hardship in the world, and things perpetually get worse – evil decrees, war, hunger, people in captivity, distress, and various diseases. When Hashem saves a person from these tragedies, he should continuously consider Hashem's kindness. Anyone living in peace and security and with parnassah must praise Hashem."
A yungerman came home and for some reason, his wife didn't serve him supper, as she generally would, and the sink was filled with dirty pots and dishes. He scolded her, "You didn't cook supper, and you didn't clean the dishes. What did you do today?" implying that she did nothing. She didn't reply.
The next day, it was the same story. There was no meal; the sink was full of dishes. Again, he rebuked her, "What did you do all day?" Once again, she remained silent.
The next day, the children weren't dressed properly. They were running around wild, fighting with one another, writing on the walls, and making a royal mess. The wife was lying in bed. This time, the husband was quite angry. It was far worse than ever before. "What did you do all day long?" he asked bitterly.
She replied, "Today, I didn't do anything."
She wanted her husband to see how things look when she does nothing, and he should learn to appreciate all the things she does that he never noticed.
This story has an important lesson for the home: learn to appreciate the work that others do for you, which you may have never appreciated. But there is another lesson here, too. It reminds us of how much can go wrong. With this awareness, we should appreciate and recognize the kindness that Hashem bestows upon us constantly and every day.
