Gladys Goes to Shul
Gladys Dunn started reading some books about Judaism and decided that she wanted to start going to shul. There was one near her house so she went early one Shabbat morning.
The shul itself was beautiful and the people seemed friendly but the Rabbi’s sermon seemed to go on and on. Worse, it wasn't very interesting. Glancing around, she saw many in the congregation nodding off.
Finally it was over. After the service, she turned to a still sleepy-looking woman next to her, extended her hand and said, "I'm Gladys Dunn."
She replied, "You and me both!"
The Holy Synagogue
Rabbi Epstein is standing before his congregation ready to give his High Holiday sermon. Unfortunately, he can’t focus on spiritual matters, as the physical ones are more pressing.
“Friends,” Rabbi Epstein begins, “unfortunately, I must report that a massive hole has been found in the roof of the synagogue.
"Now I have good news and bad news for you," the Rabbi continues. "The good news is that we have the money to repair it; the bad news is that the money is in your pockets."
Same Old Shul
Sharon is out shopping one day when she meets Rabbi Levy.
"Hello rabbi," she says. "How are you? I hope you are keeping well."
"Well if I'm not mistaken," says Rabbi Levy, "it's Mrs. Gross, isn't it?"
"Yes rabbi, it is," replies Sharon.
"I haven't seen you in shul now for quite some time," says Rabbi Levy.
"I know," says Sharon, looking quite embarrassed, "I stopped going to shul some time ago because every time I went, it was always the same old thing."
"Always the same thing?" asks Rabbi Levy, looking puzzled, "I don't understand you."
"You know, rabbi," explains Sharon, "KOL NIDRAY..."
The VIP Shul
One New York synagogue was notorious for its exclusiveness. One day a homeless Jewish man entered the synagogue, wanting to pray. He approached the rabbi and told him that he wished to join the synagogue. Not knowing what to say, the rabbi suggested that the homeless man take the night to reflect on which house of worship would truly suit him best.
The following day the homeless man returned to the exclusive synagogue.
Frustrated, the rabbi asked the man if he had done any introspection as he had suggested.
“Oh yeah,” replied the homeless man. “In fact, God came to me in a dream last night to discuss it with me.”
“I see,” said the rabbi. “And what did he tell you?”
“God asked me what shul I wanted to daven in, and I said yours. And He said ‘Oh no, you won’t be able to get in there.’ And I said, ‘Why not?’ and He said, ‘Because I’ve been trying to get into that shul for years but I can’t get in.’”
