If a father doesn’t have the money, is he allowed to promise something at the time of the shidduch if he doesn’t know where he will be able to get such large amounts of money from? Although many people make shidduchim and see incredible miracles, perhaps relying on this is included in the statement of Chazal: אין סומכין על הנס – “We don’t rely on miracles”?
Is a father obligated to take out a loan from a gemach, if he doesn’t really have where to pay back from, and he is going to end up going from one gemach to the next?
Is one allowed to borrow money if he doesn’t know how he will pay back the large sums he borrowed, or is doing so included in: לוה רשע ולא ישלם – “A wicked person borrows and doesn’t pay back”?
Finally, is one obligated to knock on doors, get a position, or go out to work, in order to be able to marry off his children?
Can a father turn round to his dear children and say: “Until this day I looked after you and provided for you, I fulfilled the enactment of Usha (תקנת אושא ) that one must provide for his young children, and I even did more than that and I provided for you until you were of the age to get married. Sadly, I am no longer able to provide for you, please go and get married and provide for yourself.” Especially, as the mitzvah of getting married is really the son’s mitzvah, and the father merely needs to help out if he can, if, however, he can’t, ultimately it is the son’s obligation. Or is doing so, forbidden, cruel, and against halachah?
