Q: Many times the Rav has advocated here that a person should demonstrate good character, even though he doesn’t really have good character. You said tonight that a man should always act like a fine gentleman even though he isn’t. But isn’t that just plain wrong because we’re deceiving people?
A: Keep on deceiving them! If you can deceive your wife for the next seventy years into thinking that you’re a nice fellow, then deceive her. You do whatever you can, all day long, to make her think that you’re a wonderful fellow, a gem of a person.
And when it comes to the next world, she will say, “Oh, he was such a wonderful husband.” So they’ll say, “He wasn’t such a fine fellow.” So she’s say, “No! He was wonderful, a wonderful husband!” And Hashem will take her word for it. Hashem will say, “I’ll take your word for it.”
So you keep on deceiving everybody – and not only your wife but everybody – and Hakodosh Boruch Hu will reward you for it. Now, that doesn’t mean that you should say that you’re a fine fellow, no. But you should always act like a fine fellow, and Hakodosh Boruch Hu will reward you for that.
TAPE # 920 (July 1993)
