Law Firm
O'Sullivan, Garcia, Santini and Mandlebaum was one of the most successful law firms in New York. Of all the partners, Mandlebaum brought in the most business.
Lunching with him one day, a curious friend asked, "Why is your name listed last? O'Sullivan spends most of his time in the south of France. Garcia is at his club's bar every afternoon, and Santini is at the race track all the time. Since you bring in all the business, your name should be first."
To which Mandlebaum replied, "All my clients read from right to left."
Switch
Sam meets his friend Moshe. "Hi Moshe, I haven't seen you for some months. So nu? How is the Company doing that you set up with Maurice last year?"
"Well, as I told you then, I put up the money and Shlomo put in his business experience.”
“But things have changed a bit since then."
"What do you mean?" Sam asks.
"Now Shlomo has the money and I have the business experience."
Busy lawyer
Moishie, a young lawyer just starting up his private practice, was very anxious to impress potential clients. When he saw the first visitor to his office come through the door, he immediately picked up the phone on his desk and spoke into it, pretending he was actually talking to someone. "I'm sorry, but my caseload is so tremendous that I'm not going to be able to look into your problem for at least a month. I'll have to get back to you then."
He then turned to the man who had just walked in, and said, "Now, what can I do for you? Make sure to do this fast, as I am in a mad rush, as you can see from the stream of endless telephone calls of clients."
"Nothing," replied the man. "I'm here to hook up your phone."
Cute kid
Bubbie Sadie was taking her new granddaughter for a walk, when her neighbor Hilda comes over and peeks into the stroller.
“Wow is she cute” gushed Hilda.
“This is nothing” said Bubbie Sadie with a wave of her hand, “you should see the pictures!”
Job applications
A company CEO is training in a new director of hiring. Taking out a stack of 700 job applications, he shows him the trick for narrowing down the candidates. “You simply take the first twenty applications on the top of the stack,” he explains, “and throw the rest into the garbage.”
“Why?” the young man asks. “What if the best candidate’s application is at the bottom of the pile? How will we ever know? It’s so unlucky!”
“Aha,” the CEO explains, “that’s the first rule of hiring: You need a worker who has good luck.
