ותקל גבירתה בעיניה
Her mistress became lighter in her eyes
The well-known story of the Baal HaTanya tells of a time when he was collecting money for tzedakah. Once, he needed a large sum and went with the charity collectors to knock on doors, seeking to give Am Yisrael the merit of this important mitzvah. When they arrived at a beautiful mansion, the collectors skipped it, saying that the homeowner was very stingy and didn’t give to tzedakah. But the Baal HaTanya insisted on going inside.
When the wealthy man heard their purpose, he went to his safe, took out a single worn coin, and handed it to them. The collectors were angry at the insult, but the Baal HaTanya took the coin, thanked the man warmly, blessed him abundantly, and left. Soon after, the wealthy man chased after them, offering another small coin. The Baal HaTanya again thanked him and blessed him. This repeated several times until the wealthy man eventually gave the entire amount needed.
In this week’s parsha, we encounter two different approaches to receiving a gift: Avraham Avinu, and his maidservant Hagar. Regarding Hagar, it says (16:4), 'ותרא כי הרתה ותקל גבירתה בעיניה' – ‘And when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress was lowered in her eyes.’ Rashi explains that Hagar said, "This Sarah, she is not what she appears to be, she presents herself as if she were righteous, but she is not, since she wasn’t blessed with children for so many years, while I conceived on the first attempt." In contrast, when HaKadosh Baruch Hu informs Avraham that he will have a son from his wife Sarai, he responds (17:18), 'לו ישמעאל יחיה לפניך' - ‘If only Yishmael might live before You.’ Why does he say this? Rashi explains that Avraham thought, "I am unworthy of such a reward." Even though he was already ninety-nine and had served Hashem with dedication since the age of three, he never felt he was owed anything. But Hagar, as soon as she received any status, immediately thought she was more worthy—even more than Sarah Imeinu—and that she deserved everything.
This is the nature of human relationships. When someone feels entitled to everything, people reject and distance themselves from him. Similarly, with Heaven: if someone feels everything is owed to him, HaKadosh Baruch Hu despises him. But one who humbles himself and feels he deserves nothing, always remembering to thank Hashem for all he has been given—Hashem desires to give him more and more. This is the appropriate way for the descendants of Avraham, who said (18:27), 'ואנכי עפר ואפר' - ‘I am but dust and ashes.’
- Tiv HaTorah – Lech Lecha
