Shliach of the Mother and Father
33. The minhag is to appoint a shliach to bring the baby into the place he will get his bris; Ashkenazim call this shliach the kvatter. The minhag Yisroel is to honor a married couple as kvatter: the wife takes the baby from the mother and gives him to her husband, who passes him to the baby’s father. Hence, they serve as shluchim to pass the baby between the mother and father.
The Word “Kvatter”
34. “Kfiturin.” Some say the origin of the word “kvatter” is based on him buying the cloths to swaddle the baby before his bris. He is called kvatter getzeig [kvatter equipment] because bands and clasps are called “kfiturin”; “kvatterin” is a corruption of “kfiturin” (ברית אבות סי' ה' אות ג').
35. “Kvod-tier.” Others say the word kvatter is a corruption of the words “kvod-tier” [lit., “door honor”], as it is an honor given near the door or entranceway (שם אות כ''ח ).
36. “Ketores.” Others say kvatter derives from the Lashon HaKodesh word “קוטר ,” which in turn comes from “קטורת ,” as he brings the baby to the sandek, which is like bringing the ketores (ערוך השלחן סי' רס''ה ).
37. “Like the father.” Yet others say that since the person who brings the baby is the shliach of the father, we call him “k’fater,” i.e., like the father (אוצר טעמי מנהגים ברית מילה שער א').
Chosson and Kallah
38. Some people offer the honor of kvatter to a chosson and kallah who are engaged to be married [Chassidim do not do this]. Strictly speaking, there is no issur involved (ערוך השלחן שם ), but it is inappropriate and a breach of tznius decorum (חזו''א, מעשה איש ח''ד עמ' קס''ח, וכך הקפיד מאד הרב שך, פניני אבי עזרי ).
Tallis, Shabbos Clothes
39. Tallis. The minhag is for the kvatter to wear a tallis while bringing in the baby (ספר מטעמים ). An allusion to this is found in the words of the paytan, “And from the womb, they are circumcised for Your sake ... And on the corners of their garments they make tzitzis” (פיוט לסעודת מילה ). The minhag is to also wear a tallis when returning the baby after the bris.
40. Shabbos clothes. The minhag is for the kvatterin [female] to wear Shabbos clothes, as her main mitzva is bringing the baby to his bris. She may even wear Shabbos clothes during the Nine Days (מג''א סי' תקנ''א סק''ג ). The kvatter [male] also wears Shabbos clothes, but not during the Nine Days (פמ''ג שם ).
Segula for the Childless
41. It is accepted today that being kvatter at a bris is a segula to have children. Although there is no source for this in early seforim, the understanding is that just as they are bringing the baby to the fulfillment of his bris, they should also be zocheh in the future to bring their own children into the bris.
42. Thus, many people honor a young married couple or a couple who was not yet zocheh to have children. However, people must also be very careful and consider everything with sensitivity when honoring someone who has been waiting a long time for children.
Father and Daughter, Son and Mother
43. The widespread minhag is to honor a married couple as kvatter. However, if necessary, one may honor a father and daughter or son and mother as kvatter. One should not honor an unrelated man and woman as kvatter.
