QUESTION: Why does a bas kol have to announce forty days before yetziras havalad who will marry whom?
ANSWER: Forty days before the child is created is the time to make plans for the nature and the character of that child. Some people are hot tempered. Some are cool. Some are lively. Some are quiet.
And so Hakadosh Baruch Hu is preparing a certain bride for a certain man. That’s what it means “forty days before.” Hakadosh Baruch Hu is preparing, because it’s so important to test a person in this world, and now He’s creating a lifelong mate for him, to test him. She tests him, and he tests her, and Hakadosh Baruch Hu knows each one perfectly, and so it’s made in order that each one should be tested fully.
After many years of living together he is kovesh his ka’as, and she is kovesh her tongue, and little by little they become better and better. לא טוב היות האדם לבדו – It’s not good for man to be by himself. With his wife he is constantly tested to become better and better, and she becomes better and better. And when their time is up, they go to Olam Haba, and they both get a tremendous reward.
But if they fail the test, chas veshalom, they have to know it’s a great tragedy, because he had an opportunity, and she had an opportunity. Because they were made to order for each other, in order to pass the test.
December 10, 1998