Avraham was famous for the Midda of Chesed. Why do Chazal pick Ayin Tova as the Midda that we should take from Avraham Avinu? For sure we have to copy all kinds of Chasadim in being like Avraham Avinu, but Ayin Tova seems to stand out as the #1 Chesed that you can do for others. Seeing only good is a Shoresh (basis) to all kinds of goodness. Certainly, if you don’t have a good eye and a high opinion of a person, yet you do him a favor, it’s also good.
However, when you see only his good side and you appreciate what he stands for, he likes it much more. There were nations like India who were poor, and they received lots of help and money from the USA; yet they could hate the US anyway because they don’t feel respected. They feel like a low down nebach when they get favors from others.
More Than Anything, A Human Needs Respect and Ayin Tova
More than anything, a human needs respect and Ayin Tova! To become an Ayin Tova needs lots of work and Tefila. We all need to have much more appreciation for our family and friends and teachers and spouses, etc. And this can be a lifetime job! We also need to respect and appreciate ourselves. (see Chazon Ish).
Notice how when Hashem created the world, it says: בוֹט יִכּ םיִק˄ֱא אְרַיַּו “He saw it was good” about 8 times. Look how Hashem appreciates His own work! Dovid HaMelech learned ½ a night and the other ½ he sang to thank Hashem for the Zechus of learning so much Torah (R' Zundel of Salant Zatzal). Doeg and Achitofel were super giants in Torah, and were maybe even greater than Dovid, yet they lost their Olam HaBah.
Not appreciating your own Avodas Hashem and your accomplishments makes a person bitter and angry and far from Hashem. Not having Ayin Tova on yourself and on others is a subtle form of utter cruelty. Imagine saying to someone: “I don’t hold from you”. “I think you are a bad person”. This is a Bilam mentality, and was the source of all his evil.
You’re Not Going Anywhere Without Basic Self-Esteem
The names of Avraham (“Rom” high) and Sara (Sar, a princess) are total Romemus (so don’t be so worried about Ga'ava!); the first (and basis) of our Avos & Imahos. Message: You’re not going anywhere without basic self-esteem.
When something goes wrong in your life, or you do an Aveira, or you recognize your shortcomings and your mistakes, the Yetzer Hara will be on your case to focus mainly in that direction. All day long, your thoughts are: “I need Parnasa!”, “I need a new house!”, “A good chavrusa!”, “A Shidduch!”, “Having children!”, “To overcome my short temper, or my addictive Ta'avos!”
It hampers your progress in a big way, until you barely know your Maalos, since you don’t focus on them.
We Boost Our Self-Esteem Not Just for Our Mental Health but Because It Is Ratzon Hashem
When Hashem told Avraham: ˃ְל ˂ֶל to forsake his country and family, He explained that it was: ְל ַה ָנ ָא ְת˃ וּ ְלטוֹ ָב ְת˃ for his benefit (Rashi) since He would give him loads of money, children, Kavod, and a good name. What is the greatness of doing Ratzon Hashem when Hashem is saying that he will get so many benefits? The answer is that Avraham Avinu does everything only: ויָלֵא רֶבִּדּ רֶשֲׁאַכּ ה' because Hashem wants to make him great and rich, etc.
When you work on self-esteem, the point isn’t Davka that you need self-esteem in life in order to manage, etc. The main point is that Hashem wants us to have self-esteem, besides it being a healthy way to live. Such a person can suddenly be a big Anav when need be, since he is an Eved Hashem and he follows Hashem.
הָﬠָר ןִיַﬠ עָשָׁרָה םָﬠְלִבּ לֶשׁ ויָדיִמְלַתִּמ Ayin Hara is learned from the school of Bilam HaRasha.
The Ayin Tova Person Sees Only Good
Avraham Avinu even cared for Sedom!? In Slabodka they explained that an Ayin Tova person sees only good. His very glasses see only good, and as a result, he does Chesed and respects everyone. He loves Torah, like Dovid who recognized the greatness and utter goodness of Torah, and this made his sing so much.
An Ayin Tova person loves and respects everyone. He enjoys Hashem’s world and its people. In his eyes, everyone is a Tzaddik until proven otherwise. And even then, he tries to defend even the worst people. An Ayin Hara though, looks down at everyone until proven innocent; and even then, he insists that deep-down the person is bad.
Ayin Tova on yourself is #1. If a Rebbe has an Ayin Tova on his class but not on himself, then the kids will detect his weakness and step all over him. But if he is full of self-aggrandizement, and he believes in himself, then they will respect him. When you appreciate yourself, then you thank Hashem, and you are a true Baal Hoda'ah.
