There’s a possuk in this week’s sedrah that we’ll use as an introduction to our subject and we will soon see how it applies to us.
When Avraham and Sarah came down to Mitzrayim, as soon as they entered, at the border control place, the news spread. הֹע¿רַפ י≈רָׂ ּ̆הָ ֹ̇‡ּו‡¿רƒּיַו הֹע¿רַּפ ל∆‡ּהָ ֹ̇‡ּלוֲלַֽה¿יַו – The officers of Pharaoh saw Sarah and right away they went to Pharaoh and they were mehallel her to him (Bereishis 12:15).
Sarah Imeinu, after all, was one in the world, and her greatness shone through. לָּכ :ּהוָּבַ‡ יƒּבַר רַמָ‡הָרָׂ ̆ „∆‚∆נ¿ּכ יםƒפֹו ̃ ֹמו¿ּכ םָלֹעוָה – Compared to the beauty of Sarah, all the Egyptian women were like monkeys (Bereishis Rabbah 40:4). The Mitzrim however, weren’t praising her greatness—they only saw the chitzoniyus, the face, and they were tremendously excited about that.
Now, there’s no question that they admired Avraham too. This we know from ancient sources that the Egyptians admired his behavior, his wisdom. He was a nesi Elokim, the prince of Hashem, and they respected him tremendously. But it doesn’t say that they were mehallel him. No, that lashon is not used about Avraham. They admired him, yes. They respected him, yes. But they weren’t mehallel him.
Onomatopoeism in Hallel
Now, to understand what that means exactly we have to study what the word hallel means. Because some people, they translate it as ‘praise’—they say, ‘The officers praised her beauty to Pharaoh.’ But actually it’s not so. Because the word ל≈לַה specifically means something more than just ‘praise’.
How do I know? Because the word ל≈לֹהו means ‘wild’. וּלֹהוָּ ̇ לַ‡ יםƒל¿לֹהוַ ל יƒּ ̇¿רַמָ‡ – I said to those who are wild, ‘don’t be wild’. (Tehillim 75:5). Hollel means wild. It comes from the word ho. ןֹפוָˆ ı∆ר∆‡≈מּסוֻנ¿ו ֹהו ֹהו'ה םֻ‡¿נ – “Ho! Ho! Flee from the land of the north,” says Hashem (Zecharyah 2:10). So ho means to make a noise. The word is what you call onomatopoeic—it’s a word that expresses itself through the sound of the word itself. Ho is a word of excitement and hallel means to be wild with your enthusiasm. ‘Hallel!’—it’s a word of shouting!
Excitement in Egypt
And that’s the difference between hallel and all the other words of praise: ,ם≈מֹרו¿ל ,ר≈‡ָפ¿ל ,ַח≈ּבַׁ ̆¿ל , ֹ̇ו„ֹהו¿ל ס≈ּלַ ̃¿לּו ,ה≈ּלַﬠ¿ל ,ך≈רָב¿ל ,ר≈ּ„ַה¿ל. Each one means something else, and hallel specifically means to be excited, to be shouting in your excitement. And so the possuk in our sedrah—הֹע¿רַּפ ל∆‡ּהָ ֹ̇‡ּלוֲלַֽה¿יַו—actually means they were enthusiastic about her, and they came to Pharaoh and they spoke to him with excitement. They said hallel about her—and not half-hallel.
And so you understand already what was important in the Egyptian palace. As if Pharaoh, a king of a big country, has no other business to attend to than to hear that a pretty woman had arrived. And the sarim too. Who were they after all? Sarim doesn’t mean sergeants. It means the ministers—the Prime Minister and the Secretary of State. And they came running to Pharaoh. Not only were they excited, but they knew their king would be excited too.
A Different Excitement
Now, let’s contrast that with Avraham Avinu. Avraham knew that his wife was a pretty woman, absolutely. The Gemara (Megillah 15a) tells us that she was from the four most beautiful women who ever lived. But that’s not what excited him. You know what Avraham was excited about? ם≈ׁ ̆¿ּב ‡ָר¿ ̃ƒּיַו'ה – He proclaimed the Name of Hashem (Bereishis 13:4). If you look in the Chumash you'll see that wherever he went, that’s what was on his mind. It was the theme that he spoke about in public. Hashem! Again and again, the Torah tells us that's what he did. He couldn’t contain himself; he spoke to people about Hakadosh Baruch Hu.
Now, how many of the listeners remained convinced for the rest of their lives, I can't tell you that. But one thing I could tell you is that Avraham did all that he could to preach to the world these great principles. Because that was Avraham's dearest wish; ל≈ב≈ ̇ י≈ב¿ׁ ֹ̆יו לָּכּעו¿„≈י¿וּירוƒּכַי — the world should recognize the Borei. Now a man is not going to do that unless he has some incentive. He wasn’t being paid to give drashos. But he did it because he was excited about Hashem. That’s the one thing that interested him.
Two Sides of the Same Coin
So here you have in one place, in Mitzrayim, a king and his ministers who are excited about one thing, and not so far away, in Eretz Canaan, is a man who is also excited—the same hillul—but about something else entirely. Here they were excited about the יƒפֹיוַה ל∆ב∆ה¿ו ן≈חַה ר∆ ̃∆ׁ ̆ and here about Hashem. And what’s the difference between them? Everything! That’s what Mishlei (27:21) says, that this is the way to evaluate, to test a person. ף≈ר¿ˆַמ ף∆ס∆ּכַל – Just like there is a pot to test silver, בָהָּזַל רּכו¿ו – and a furnace to test gold, ֹלוָלֲהַמ יƒפ¿ל ׁ ̆יƒ‡ – there’s a sure way to test a man.
How did you test silver in the olden days? There is a pot called the matzreif, the testing pot, they put silver over the fire and it melts and then they take a ladle and they ladle off the dross, the impurities that rise to the surface. That’s how you know how much is real silver, what its value is. And for gold they had a special furnace called the kur, where they melted the gold and it was tested with the same method. You’ll find out how much is pure gold and how much is dross. And so there are ways for finding out how genuine the precious metals are.
But now the question arises: How can you find out what a man is? That’s more important than silver, and him you can’t throw into a furnace. So the possuk concludes, ׁ ̆יƒ‡¿ו – and a man, ֹלוָלֲהַמ יƒפ¿ל – according to his praise. You can test him according to his praise.
How Others Praise Him
It means like this: ‘If you want to know who a man is, listen to how he is praised by others.’ Listen to what praises people are saying about him; also how much and with how much excitement. Do they say his praises or do they sing them? There’s a big difference.
Now if you have daughters who are marriageable or someday they’ll be marriageable, I’m giving you good advice now, so listen up. When you call up the mashgiach of the yeshiva and you inquire about this-and-this bachur—somebody told you his name—and the mashgiach tells you, “He’s a fine bachur, a nice boy,” then forget about it! He’s not the one.
You know, many people who have daughters don’t realize that. He calls up the mashgiach and he listens and then he hangs up.
So the wife says, “Nu, what did he say?”
“He says he’s a fine boy.”
“A fine boy. Let’s settle it.”
It’s a serious error. ׁ ̆יƒ‡¿ו – If you want to know what a man is, ֹלוָלֲהַמ יƒפ¿ל – how people are excited about him. It’s not how they speak about him or even how they praise him—it’s the hillul that matters. If they’re excited about him very much, there’s probably something there.
So that’s one pshat. ף∆ס∆ּכַל ף≈ר¿ˆַמ – How can you test silver? You put it in the melting pot. בָהָּזַל רּכו¿ו – And you test gold by melting it in a furnace. ׁ ̆יƒ‡¿ו – But how do you find out about a person? ֹלוָלֲהַמ יƒפ¿ל – By the way people are excited about him. If they’re excited just a little bit, you know there’s only a little bit. And if it’s very much, then there’s something there.
More Shidduch Advice
But there’s another explanation and both are true, it’s just as valid, just as true as the first. Rabbeinu Yonah in his Shaarei Teshuva says a second pshat: How can you test a man? ׁ ̆יƒ‡ – A man you could know, ֹלוָלֲהַמ יƒפ¿ל – according to what excites him. Not what others say about him. According to what he’s enthusiastic about! Listen to what he’s talking about and see what he’s interested in. That will tell you who the man is.
Let’s say you’re a Beis Yaakov girl and somebody arranged that you have to go out with this boy and you want to know who he is.
Now, in the olden days, it was different. In the olden days, the grandmothers came together to make a shidduch. You didn’t have to talk to the boy at all. You could rely on the grandmothers; they knew what they were talking about. But today, it’s different; there’s a minhag hamakom today and so you have to make an evaluation. You want a ben Torah, a future talmid chacham, but how can you tell?
A Discerning Ear
So Mishlei says like this: if the boy is telling you all about his rosh yeshiva and how he enjoys the shiurim and how they’re learning an interesting mesichta and how he loves to learn; it could be he’s putting on a good show, but at least he’s putting on a good show. If he talks about his hopes to become a talmid chacham, so you can know him from the way he talks about it.
But let’s say he talks about traveling. He’s saying how he traveled in the car somewhere, how he went on this highway and that exit—he knows all the shortcuts—and he’s excited about it, so you can pasken on him already who he is.
Or maybe he’s talking about all kosher things to eat—there are a lot of good kosher things today you can get: kosher cornflakes and kosher ice cream and kosher desserts. You can get Paskez candies and Liebers chocolates too. Bruchim yehiyu — a blessing on the heads of all the good Jews who have made life so pleasant with kosher things to eat. Very good! But if this young man, your intended, is speaking about it and praising them, you should sit and listen. You have to listen very carefully because you’re finding out now what he is.
The Man Tester
Because that’s the ironclad rule: A man can be evaluated by what interests him. What you’re excited about, sums you up. I told you once a little anecdote but about the rebbe who came to shalosh seudos. And he sang some songs and he spoke some divrei Torah.
So after it was over one man said, “What beautiful Torah he said.”
Another one said, “What nice melodies he sang.”
And the third one said, “The herring was very good.”
So now you know; now you know what each man is. Each man has stamped himself by what he’s interested in. This one is a Torah man. The second one, he’s a zemiros man. And the third, he’s a herring man. Of course, a chance remark is sometimes not enough; you have to collect a number of such remarks, but that’s the general rule. And it’s the same for everyone. All of us sitting here have to know that it’s what we’re excited about, what makes our heart beat faster, that’s who we are. That’s the stamp of a person, lefi m’halalo. That’s the advice of Shlomo HaMelech—listen to what excites him, and that’s the way to know a man.
