Teenagers have many questions. Who am I? What am I supposed to be doing with my life? Where am I going? These questions can feel uncomfortable. A young person may wonder why he suddenly feels uncertain about himself and his future. However, these questions are not a weakness. They are part of an inner awakening. They show that a person is beginning to mature and think seriously about who he is and who he wants to become.
The teenage years place a person in a new and unfamiliar stage. A teenager has more independence, more responsibility, and more power to make his own decisions. At the same time, he is still learning how to use that power correctly. It is similar to learning how to drive. A car contains tremendous power. It can carry a person great distances, but first the driver must learn the rules of the road. He must learn how to control the car, watch his surroundings, and make responsible decisions. These skills do not develop immediately. They take time to master. A teenager also possesses tremendous energy and potential, but he is still becoming comfortable with his new abilities and responsibilities. Later in life, he may look back and recognize how much he grew during these years. At the time, however, the road is not always easy.
A person should remember that he is not alone. His friends may also be struggling with questions and insecurities, even if they appear confident on the outside. They are all traveling through the same stage of life. Others have traveled this road before them. Those adults may admit that the journey was difficult, but they will often say that the difficulties themselves helped shape them into the people they eventually became.
Before beginning any journey, however, a person needs to know where he is going. Imagine a family preparing for a vacation. Their suitcases are packed. They have decided whether they are traveling by car, bus, train, or plane. Everyone is ready to leave. There is only one problem: They do not know their destination. A person can have the best luggage and the fastest means of transportation, but without knowing where he is going, he cannot begin his trip. The world today is filled with noise and distractions. There are countless voices trying to tell a young person what to value, what to pursue, and who he should become. Without a clear destination, it is very easy to become lost.
Every Yid is on a journey. First, a person must understand the general purpose for which Hashem placed him in this world. Then he must begin discovering his personal purpose, the special strengths, opportunities, and responsibilities that Hashem gave specifically to him. This idea is found at the beginning of Parshas Lech Lecha. Hashem tells Avraham: “ #ל ל& מַאְרְצ& וִמּמֹוַלְדְּת& וִמֵּבית אִבי& אל הָאֶרץ אֶׁשר אְר אָּך ” “Go forth from your land, from your birthplace, and from your father’s house, to the land that I will show you” (Bereishis 12:1).
The words “lech lecha” can be understood as more than a command to travel. They can also be read as, “Go toward yourself.” Hashem was calling upon Avraham to begin a journey toward the person he was truly capable of becoming. This was not merely a trip to a different country. It was the beginning of Avraham becoming Avraham Avinu, the father of Klal Yisrael. Why did Hashem not tell Avraham exactly where he was going? Why did He only say, “To the land that I will show you”? Perhaps the answer is that the destination was not only a geographical location. The destination was also the greater Avraham who would emerge from the journey. At that point, Avraham could not yet fully understand the person he would become.
Had Hashem described Avraham’s future greatness to him at the beginning of the journey, Avraham would have understood it only according to his present level. Imagine trying to explain to a three-year-old child what it means to be wealthy and powerful. The child might respond, “Does that mean I can buy as much candy as I want?” The child interprets everything according to his present understanding. He cannot yet grasp the responsibilities, opportunities, and accomplishments of adulthood. His mind can translate wealth only into something that makes sense to a three-year-old. We face the same limitation. We cannot fully imagine the elevated people we are capable of becoming. Any description of our future greatness would be understood according to the smaller and less developed people we are today.
Hashem therefore did not reveal the entire destination to Avraham. He said, “Leave your land, your birthplace, and your father’s house. Begin walking, and I will show you where you are going.” Hashem was telling Avraham: You cannot yet know your higher self, but it will be far greater than the person you are at present. Trust Me. Walk with Me, and I will make you great.
To reach that new and greater self, Avraham first had to leave his old surroundings behind. He had to separate himself from the influences that were preventing him from growing. He had to be willing to leave the familiar and comfortable in order to discover something greater. Every person has areas that he must leave behind. He may need to leave behind bad habits, negative influences, laziness, fear, or the belief that he is incapable of changing. He cannot reach a higher version of himself while holding tightly to everything that belongs to his lower self. Hashem says to each person, “Lech lecha. Begin traveling toward yourself. You may not yet understand how great you can become, but walk with Me and I will show you.”
A well-known mashal tells of a group of hungry frogs that noticed a swarm of flies at the top of a tall tree. The frogs wanted the food, but climbing the tree would be very difficult. Several frogs began making the climb. The frogs that remained below shouted at them: “The tree is too high!” “You will never reach the top!” “You are wasting your strength!” As the frogs climbed, they heard the discouraging voices from below. One after another, they gave up and fell back. Eventually, only one frog remained. He continued climbing until he reached the top. The other frogs could not understand how he had succeeded. They soon discovered the answer. The frog was deaf. He had not heard any of their discouraging cries.
The journey of life is also a climb. A person can reach great heights, but he will hear many voices telling him to give up. Some will tell him that Torah is too difficult, that changing is impossible, or that he will never become the person he hopes to be. Sometimes these voices will come from other people. Often they will come from within himself. A person must learn to become deaf to those voices.
Hashem is behind us. He gave each of us abilities and is ready to support our efforts to grow. We have the greatest possible supporter. Our responsibility is to choose the right road, leave behind the things that hold us back, and continue climbing. We do not know exactly where the journey will take us. We cannot yet understand the people we may become. But we know the direction. “Lech lecha.” Keep moving toward the person Hashem created you to become.