The names of Avraham (“Rom” high) and Sara (Sar, a princess) are total Romemus (so don’t be so worried about Ga'ava!); the first (and basis) of our Avos & Imahos. Message: You’re not going anywhere without basic self-esteem. Believe it or not, your physical health is at stake without having it. Your body doesn’t like a person who dislikes himself, or makes away with all those wonderful qualities that Hashem gave him (which comes from the Frummer Yetzer Hara!)
When something goes wrong in your life, or you do an Aveira, or you recognize your shortcomings and your mistakes, the Yetzer Hara will be on your case to focus mainly in that direction. All day long, your thoughts are: “I need Parnasa!”, “I need a new house!”, “A good chavrusa!”, “A Shidduch!”, “Having children!”, “To overcome my short temper, or my addictive Ta'avos!”
The More You Focus on What You Don’t Have, The Less You Shteig
It hampers your progress in a big way, until you barely know your Maalos, since you don’t focus on them. Smart people have no time or patience to delve on what’s wrong in their lives. They enjoy their positive side, and keep Shteiging in Torah, Chesed, Zikkui HaRabbim; or doing an honest job to support their families.
How many Chashuva people are sick, Chas V’shalom, or weak, or Niftar at a younger age, Chas V'shalom because they never did Hishtadlus in: משירת הגוף guarding their health. One year, the Chazon Ish didn’t come to bake Matzos since he wasn’t up to it physically. When asked: What about: ושמרתם את המצות (Bo 12:17) the Mitzva to guard the Matzos? He replied: ונשמרתם מאד לנפשותיכם (Vaetchanan 4:15) What about the Mitzva to guard your health??
The Yetzer Hara plays down the most basic Mitzva of: משירת הגוף guarding your health, which is Kodesh Kodoshim and of paramount importance. The same with self-esteem. Rabeinu Yonah says that the “way in” to Avodas Hashem is knowing your self-worth! The more you believe in yourself, and continuously thank Hashem for your Maalos, the happier your body becomes!
Story
Chaim was a Tzaddik Yesod Olam, with all the Maalos in the universe. He was loved and respected by everyone. Yet, he was always sick and weak and bedridden with lots of pain, Rachmana Litzlan. He was full of Bitachon and positivism, yet his condition never budged. I suspected, and sure enough I discovered, that as much as people admired him, he would always say: “If you only knew the real me and my true shortcomings in Ruchaniyus!”
This type of talk used to be a good sign, but today it can be the secret reason for all kinds of Tzaros, Rachmana Litzlan. As long as a person tries to work on self-esteem, then Hashem will give him Yeshuos and Refuos, even if he doesn’t succeed in actually having self-esteem. רחמנא ליבא בעי Hashem wants our intentions.
After Kayin sinned, Hashem told him: למה נפלו פניך (Bereishis 4:6) Don’t get down; no depression or Yi'ush allowed! הלא אם תיטיב שאת When you do Teshuva, you become even better, since: במקום שבעלי תשובה עומדים אין צדיקים גמורים יכולים לעמוד (Berachos 34b) Baalei Teshuva are even GREATER than pure Tzaddikim! Look how Hashem tells him to move on and ignore his horrific past!
A clear message: Ignore those ugly negative and sins in your life, and move on to greatness!
