We are in the three weeks and approaching the 9 days of mourning for the Beis Hamikdash. For many of us this is a difficult time as it is very hard for us to connect and really mourn.
What is so unique about these days and why is it so important to really try and connect to the Avoda of these days.
There is a beautiful parable from the Dubno Maggid.
There was a very wealthy man who wanted to help poor people and guests who came to his city. He opened a big Hachnasas Orchim, with bedrooms to provide sleeping accommodation. He also made a large hall where they served meals. Everything was free.
The man sat at the head of the table and all the guests sat around the long table. However, he realized that not all the guests were the same. Some were poor people who came to rid their hunger. They were more than happy with plenty bread and lots of food.
But there were many guests who were businessmen visiting the city for work and they were not used to such kind of food or behavior. They were used to fancier food served on normal dishes and eating with a knife and fork.
The poor people looked at them with pity. Why should a healthy person walk on their knees, so why should a healthy person eat with utensils, what's wrong eating with one's fingers.
The host realized he had to make some changes.
He split the table into two. The head of the table was laid with fine dishes, cutlery, napkins and fancy foods. At the end of the table they put out plenty loaves of bread, large bowls of salads and dips, so they could eat as much as they want.
One day an important looking guest walked into the dining room dressed very smartly. The host judging his appearance invited him to sit down next to him. The man taken aback by the honor, sat down and took a plate and filled it with the fine foods. He then looked towards the end of the table and saw all the pots and bowls of food. He got up, walked to the end of the table, piled his plate with food and bread, then went and sat down on his place. He quickly ate with his fingers, finished his plate and was ready for a second filling. As he was about to start filling up his plate again, the host stopped him and kindly asked him to move to the other end of the table.
The man looked at the host very offended and said, "is this the Hachnosas Orchim that everyone talks about, pushing someone to the end of the table?"
The host replied, "don't get me wrong. There isn't one head to the table, there are two. This side for one sort of crowd and the other for a different crowd. When you came in I thought you were a wealthy guest who needed to eat something and would be happy enjoying the foods at this end of the table. However, I see that you are really hungry and I don't want you to have to bother getting up to fill your plate. At the other end of the table you can sit at the head and take to your heart’s desire."
This world has two parts to it, the spiritual side and the materialistic side.
Let us take an example. There are two sorts of beauty. There is external beauty and there is internal beauty.
The Gemarah in Sukkah (45.) Tells us that Klal Yisrael would say, "Mizbeach – (the alter), you are beautiful."
What was so beautiful about the alter, square, big, covered in blood and large piles of ashes?
But if it atoned for the sins of all of Klal Yisrael, there is nothing so beautiful!
Was Yerushalaim so beautiful, that the whole world called it 'klilas yofi' - complete beauty?
The answer is that Yerushalaim was the city that a person could reach the greatest levels of holiness, of spirituality, atone all their sins, this is truly spiritual beauty.
The problem is that the two beauties don't go together, in fact they contradict each other. A person whose mind is focused on the beauty of this world cannot reach the great levels in Torah, in holiness, and cannot truly enjoy the beauty of spirituality.
This goes a step further.
What do we really focus on? On what Hashem really wants from us or are we focusing on what will make us look good in the eyes of our friends, neighbors and society.
Are we doing what is good and correct for us or are what will look good for everyone else.
Eretz Yisrael, Yerushalaim and the Beis Hamikdash was the peak of Ruchniyus - spirituality. But once the Jews started focusing on other things, different cultures, enlightenment and more, we didn't belong anymore at that end of the table. So Hashem exiled us to the other end of the table, to a world of materialism, which appeals to us more.
These days of mourning aren't just about the Beis Hamikdash that was destroyed 2000 years ago. It’s not only about all the terrible decrees the Jews have suffered for those two thousand years. Yes, we have to mourn for that too.
But there is something far more important that we have to cry about. Where are we in the picture? What has happened to us? How far are we from the real beauty of true spirituality and closeness to Hashem. Do we really enjoy our Torah study? Do we come out of Shul feeling so elevated? Do we feel great after giving Tzedaka or doing other Mitzvos? Is it as good as we feel after other worldly pleasures we enjoy?
Deep down in our hearts, don't we all want to be closer to Hashem, to be able to daven and feel what all the holy and great Tzadikkim felt when they daven.
How do we feel, being deprived from eating meat for a few days? How excited are we if we get invited to a Seudas Mitzva, a Bris, a Siyum to be able to enjoy some steak or chicken in the nine days?
And how deprived do we feel when we missed davening with Minyan, missed a shiur, missed a chavrusa, lost the opportunity to do chessed, threw away the opportunity to give Tzedaka?
The Halachos of the Nine Days
The Halachos of the nine days aren't here to punish us or deprive us. They are here to open our eyes and show us where we really are. On which side of the table do we really want to be! We may be dressed one way but our hearts are somewhere else completely.
May Hashem have mercy on all of us, shine His great light into our hearts and bring us closer to Him. May we all merit to see Mashiach, go to Yerushalaim and the Beis Hamikdash, merit to see and appreciate their true beauty, speedily in our days. Amen.
