In a horrific, fatal accident, a heavy axe was dropped from a construction site, causing the death of an onlooker, whose name has yet to be released.
Within minutes, TNS reporter, Shimmy Schnelovitz, sped to the scene, and caught up with the alleged killer, Shlumiel Shlimazel. “Please (pant), can you tell us what happened (pant, pant)” asked Schnell holding out his microphone.
“I’m sorry (huff ), I’d love to talk more (puff ), but I am in a rush,” replied Shlimazel as he huffed and puffed down the road, “I’m devastated about the unfortunate incident, but I must get out of here, fast (huff and puff )!”
The interview was cut short as Shlimazel fled down the road, far away from angry relatives of the deceased.
Within moments, Shlimazel was safely within the boundaries of the closest Ir Miklat, “sanctuary city,” which he found quickly thanks to strategically placed “Miklat” road signs. In the Ir Miklat, Shlimazel will live among Kohanim, who will teach him to be peaceful, loving, and kind. He is expected to remain there as long as the current Kohen Gadol is alive.
“What a wonderful rehabilitation program!” commented TNS law commentator, Dan Din. “HaShem has instituted a way to make him into a better – and more careful – citizen. I understand even his Rabbi will be coming to teach him Torah.”
