Don't Believe in Yourself
Chazal (Shabbos 105:) teach, בחמתו בגדיו המקרע כעובד בעיניך יהא בחמתו מעותיו והמפזר בחמתו כליו והמשבר אומר ולמחר כך עשה לו אומר היום ר''יצה של אומנתו שכך ז''ע ועובד והולך ז''ע עבוד לו שאומר עד כך עשה לו “If a person rips his clothes in his anger, or if he breaks utensils due to his anger, or if he scatters money due to his anger, you can consider him like he worships avodah zarah. For this is the craft of the yetzer hara: Today he tells you to do this, and tomorrow he tells you to do that until he tells you to worship avodah zarah, and he goes and does so.” We can learn from this Gemara that we shouldn't trust ourselves. We shouldn't feel secure that the yetzer hara has no power over our selves.
About this, Chazal (Avos 2:4) say, "Don't believe in yourself until the day you die." We must always be wary of the yetzer hara.
The Kozhnitzer Magid zt'l didn't allow women to come into his room to talk and seek his counsel. He only spoke to men. Once, the gabbai wasn't near the Rebbe's door, and a woman, who didn't know the customs of this court, came inside. When the Rebbe saw her, he immediately ran to the window to jump out. Just then, the gabbai arrived, and he saved the Rebbe from jumping out.
When the opportunity arose, the gabbai asked the Rebbe why he was so afraid that he considered jumping out of the window! The woman who came in was an old lady, and the Kozhnitzer Magid was an ill man. There was nothing to fear.
The Kozhnitzer Magid replied sharply, "Fool! When the yetzer hara takes control of a person, he can turn an old woman into a young woman, and I could become healthy."
The Rav of Nasad zt'l once rode on a train, and an old woman came onto the train. The Nasader Rav immediately jumped out of the window of the moving train. His students asked him, "Rebbe, were you afraid of that old lady?"
He replied, "I was not afraid of her. I am afraid of Hashem, so I run away from every slight possibility of an aveirah."
The Mishnah (Avos 2:5) states, בעצמך תאמין אל מותך יום עד, "Don't believe in yourself until the day you die." Yerushalmi (Shabbos 1:3) tells about a certain old chasid, who constantly repeated this Mishnah. He wanted to engrave into his consciousness that even if he is old, it doesn't mean he is safe and doesn't have to worry about aveiros and tests that can arise.
The Yaavatz (Avos 2:5) writes on the Mishnah that you shouldn't believe in yourself, "Don't say, 'I fought with my yetzer hara many times, and I won. I broke the yetzer hara, and I was saved.' [It is a mistake to say this] because the yetzer hara becomes stronger every day. The yetzer hara you won in the past isn't the yetzer hara you have today." And it could be that the yetzer hara of today will be stronger than you. So, you are better off keeping a distance and protecting yourself from confronting tests.
