The beis medrash was packed. Every seat was occupied by someone deeply engrossed in Torah study, earnestly reciting Tehillim, or absorbed in fervent prayer. Elul zeman was in full swing and the atmosphere reverberated with a tangible sense of teshuva that came with upcoming yomim noraim.
It was this intense environment into which the Uhjler Rav, Rav Moshe Yosef Teitelbaum entered. To his great consternation, however, he felt cold and impassive to the electric energy of Elul! He was bitterly disappointed in himself when the feeling didn’t dissipate. Rather, but the matter grew worse through all the days of selichos the aseres yamei teshuva.
“What is wrong with me?” the Uhjler rav sighed. Elul passed without so much as a flutter of passion in his heart. “Why do I feel unmoved by these auspicious days of mercy and good will – rachamim ve’ratzon?!” he cried.
His answer arrived from none other than his zeide, the holy Sanzer Rav, the Divrei Chaim. Immediately following the yomim noraim (the days of awe), the Uhjler Rav made his way to Sanz.
That Shabbos as the Divrei Chaim was in the midst of conducting his Friday Night tisch, he recited the words to the Arizal’s poem in honor of Shabbos “Na’avid lehon kisrin bemilin yakirin – We shall create crowns with precious words.” He then paused and said: “When Klal Yisroel serve Hashem with prayer and devotion, their avoda creates the crown jewels for Hashem. The luster of each jewel is based on the quality of each person’s avoda. Some shine bright and some are duller; and some jewels...” Here, the Divrei Chaim paused for emphasis “...some jewels dazzle the most from those who agonize over their apparent lack of feeling and who are unable to muster enthusiasm though they yearn to be close to Hashem. This is why we say “Na’avid lehon kisrin bemilin yakirin – We shall create crowns with precious words,” as these words for Hashem’s crown are “yakirin”: substantial, consequential, precious, because they were said with a heavy heart that longs for Hashem!”
Rav Moshe Yosef had received his answer; the Uhjler Rav rejoiced. (Zichron Ish Chayil Naipest p. 152)
