A Good Clean Lesson
Rabbi Epstein received a call from a wealthy businessman who was interested in exploring Judaism, but had many questions. He asked if Rabbi Epstein could pay him a visit at the office, which he obliged.
The next day, Rabbi Epstein pulled up to an enormous manufacturing facility which produced soaps and other household cleaners. The company president, Aaron Miller was there to greet him.
“Thank you for coming rabbi,” Mr. Miller said. “Let’s go for a walk, shall we?”
After some small talk Mr. Miller said, “Rabbi, please help me answer this question that I’ve been thinking about: what good is religion, really? Look at all the trouble and misery in the world! Even after thousands of years of religions teaching about goodness and truth and love and peace, there’s still war and deceit and so many terrible things. If Judaism is true, why should this be?"
Rabbi Epstein just stroked his beard in thought.
They continued walking until he noticed a child playing in the gutter. Rabbi Epstein said, "Look at that child. You say that soap makes people clean, but see the dirt on that youngster. Of what good is soap? With all the soap in the world, over all these years, the child is still filthy. I wonder how effective soap is, after all!"
Mr. Miller, president of a soap company protested, "But Rabbi, soap can't do any good unless it is used!"
"Exactly," replied the Rabbi. "Exactly."
senior moment
I just had another “fire-extinguisher” Birthday. You know you’re getting on a bit when Emergency Services are called to put your candles out or you out – from blowing out a lung. The interesting thing is I have now reached “half-life.” I’ll explain. As we age, we start counting our age in fractions. “Darling, would you believe I’ll be 87 and a quarter in 13 days!” The only people who count age in fractions are either toddlers (“I ‘fwee’ and one half”) or those proudly marking off the time when the smiling weatherman announces: “ ... and in local news, Ira Shmelowitz turned 100 today! Happy Birthday, Mr. Shemlowitz, who made hats for The Roosevelts – both FDR and Teddy!” Are we still funny? Funnier! Then again it could be a “senior moment.”
ONLY ONE THING
A widowed Mama was talking about her recent break-up with the businessman she was seeing, telling all to her married daughter, Sheila00:32 “So, Mama,” said Sheila, “Why did you stop seeing that nice senior businessman? You told me how much alike you are. You both love art and hate opera; you both love cats and hate dogs; you both love tea and hate coffee– “And,” added Mama, “we both love our Social Security checks and hate each other.”
FUTURE WORRIES
A scientist was giving a lecture at a Jewish senior center, explaining that in four billion years the sun will exhaust itself of fuel, burn out and all life as we know it in the solar system will end. Upset, Hymie Handelman yelled out, "Oy! Is there anything we can do? Form a congressional committee or donate money for research?!" The scientist replied: "Sir, why are you so upset? This won't happen for four billion years." "Oyyy, denks God," said Hymie, relieved. "I thought you said four and a half million years."
