Her husband annulled the vows, and Hashem will forgive her. (Bemidbar 30:13)
Our Sages taught: “Her husband annulled the vows, and Hashem will forgive her” – This refers to a woman whose husband nullified her vow without her knowledge, teaching that she nevertheless requires atonement and forgiveness.
When R. Akiva would reach this verse, he would weep. He would say: “If someone who intended to pick up pork but accidentally picked up lamb meat requires atonement and forgiveness, then certainly one who intended to pick up pork and actually picked up pork, how much more so does he need forgiveness!” (Nazir 23a)
At first glance, this teaching of Chazal is puzzling. Somebody tried to eat treif and accidentally ate kosher. He needs atonement. But why would we think he doesn’t? He maliciously tried to do something forbidden, to commit a Torah prohibition. Surely such a person should require kapparah for his evil intent!
The Gemara brings another example of someone who intended to do something forbidden and ended up doing something permitted. It is the story of R. Chiya bar Ashi. The Gemara recounts:
He was accustomed, whenever he would fall on his face in tefilah, to say, “May the Merciful One save us from the evil inclination.” One day, his wife heard him saying this. She said, “As it’s been many years since he separated himself from [having marital relations with] me, why does he [even need to] say this?’
Pearls of Wisdom from the Parshah
One day he was learning in his garden. She adorned herself and walked back and forth in front of him. He said to her, “Who are you?” She said, “I am Charusa [the harlot], on my way back [from my daily work].” He propositioned her. She said to him: 'Bring me that pomegranate at the top of the tree [as my wages].” He jumped up and brought it to her, [and she provided her services].
When he came home, his wife was heating the oven, and he went up and sat inside it. She said to him: “What is this?” He said to her, “Such and such happened.” She said to him, “It was me.” He paid no heed to what she said until she gave him identifying signs. He said to her, “[Even so,] I intended to do something forbidden.” All the days of that tzaddik he would fast, [until in the end,] he died that same death.
This certainly requires explanation. How did such a tzaddik stumble so quickly? And furthermore, didn’t have any nisyonos and challenges until now? What happened that day?
Let’s get down to the truth of the matter. Said R. Shimon ben Lakish: A person's yetzer hara grows stronger against him every day, and seeks to kill him, as it says, “The wicked one is on the lookout for the righteous one and seeks to kill him.”
And were it not for Hakadosh Baruch Hu who helps the righteous one, he would not be able to overcome the yetzer, as it says, “Hashem will not abandon him to his hand and will not let him be condemned in his judgment.”
So we see that we need siyata d’Shmaya in order to be saved from sin.
It may be compared to a strong man who was confronted every day by a powerful enemy who sought to knock him down. But the strong man had a pistol. Every day, he shot the enemy and eliminated him. One day, the enemy came against him again, at full strength, and he picked up the pistol to shoot him, but this time there were no bullets in the gun. He pulled the trigger and nothing happened. At that moment, before he could pull himself together, the enemy already knocked him to the ground. He was down and out.
That’s what happened to R. Chiya bar Ashi. He had nisyonos every day. And he regularly davened for siyata d’Shmaya to save him from the yetzer hara. These prayers enabled him to overcome temptation his whole life.
And then, one day, the yetzer hara was confronting him, and he assumed that today, too, he would have the same siyata d’Shmaya he was used to receiving. And what happened? It was a disaster. The siyata d’Shmaya didn’t come!
And for good reason. Siyata d’Shmaya is only against sin. But there was no aveirah here. It was his wife. On the contrary, the siyata d’Shmaya worked against him, because he was actually facing the opportunity to do a mitzvah. After all, his wife had commented, “It's been many years since he separated himself me,” implying that she wasn’t so happy about it. So instead of the siyata d’Shmaya coming to his rescue, it actually pushed him into it, and he was unable to stand his ground.
Now we can understand what R. Akiva said in the above-quoted Chazal. Someone intended to eat pork, and ended up with lamb meat in his hand, and thus got no help from Heaven to refrain from eating it, since there was no actual aveirah there. But he still needs atonement and forgiveness from Hashem. It follows that someone who intended to eat pork, and ended up with pork in his hand, in which case he did get siyata d’Shmaya, and should have overcome the temptation, he surely needs a kapparah.
