Loving Hashem through Being Careful with Mitzvos

The beginning of Parshas Matos discusses the laws of nullifying vows, including the particular laws of a father nullifying the vows of his daughter. The verse states, as follows: (Bamidbar 30:5)

“And if her father will hear her vow or her prohibition, which she placed on herself and her father will remain silent [and not nullify the vow immediately], then all of the vows and prohibitions that she places on herself will be effective.”

The Torah gives a father the ability to nullify his young daughter’s vows or voluntary prohibitions. However, he can only annul them if he declares them invalid immediately upon hearing them. If he does not say anything on that day, until after the following night begins, then he loses the ability to nullify her vows.

We need to understand the idea of the “extra careful measures of the Sages” in order to understand the inner significance of a father’s power to nullify his daughter’s vows and prohibitions:

We see that almost all of the Talmud is full of the laws and stringencies that the Sages imposed, adding additional “boundaries and fences” to protect us from transgressing the commands in the Written Torah, the Chumash.

Just like a fence prevents one from accidentally trespassing and entering someone else’s property, so did the Sages establish extra careful measures, called ‘fences,’ to prevent us from accidentally entering into transgressions of the Torah. For example, the Torah prohibits cooking, eating or benefitting from a mixture of meat and milk. This Biblical prohibition applies to kosher mammal meat and milk. However, in order to guard us from accidental transgression, the Sages forbade the mixture of bird meat with milk. This is so that we not confuse the two and mistakenly come to eat animal meat with milk.

The question then arises; why do we need more stringencies and precautions, as we see the Sages enacted from the later generations, from the Talmud and onwards? If these precautions were so important, then why did Moshe Rabeinu not establish them from the very beginning of the Giving of the Torah? What changed as time went on that caused us to need these additional stringencies?

The idea will be understood based on our Sages’ explanation of the verse, (Shir Hashirim 1:2) “Hashem should ‘kiss us with His mouth’ (meaning He should use the mouth to connect with us. This refers to the act of saying words of Torah, which connect us to Hashem through our mouths), because Your ‘love’ is better than ‘wine.’”

Our Sages comment, ‘The Jewish People said to Hashem, “The instructions of the Sages (referred to in verse as ‘Your love’) are sweeter to me than the ‘wine’ of the Torah.”’

The explanation of this cryptic statement is as follows: The ‘wine of the Torah’ refers to the inner dimension and secrets of the Torah, as our Sages said, “When one drinks wine, his secrets come out.” Thus, the ‘wine’ of the Torah refers to the secrets of the Torah, which can only be discovered through prompting. The secrets of Torah are likened to a person’s secrets, which also require prompting (such as drinking wine) in order to become revealed.

Thus, the ‘instructions of the Sages’ are sweeter to the Jewish People than the secrets of the Torah, since, all of the “boundaries” and stringencies instructed to us by the Sages, and the moral instructions which are found in the Aggada and in the Pirkei Avos (Ethics of the Fathers), are all expressing the idea of a Great Love from Hashem to us, like it says, (Malachi 1:2) “Hashem says, ‘I love you’ (the Jewish People),” and because Hashem loves us, He is extra observant of our behavior and conduct.

For example, due to one’s love for his son, he is particularly strict with him, in order to protect him from acting inappropriately by making “boundaries and fences” for him not to cross. The father will do whatever he can to encourage and help his son to act properly, even if it is seemingly against the will of the son (since the son doesn’t appreciate the consequences of his own conduct), since he wants his son to be totally free of any inappropriate behavior.

Furthermore, he greatly desires for his son to be very gracious and intelligent, and therefore, he pushes him to act kindly and to learn diligently.

This is similar to the analogy of pearls or other gems: The more valuable they are, the more one invests in guarding them, employing multiple levels of protection to assure their safety and security.

So too, because of the great love that Hashem has for us, He is extra careful and stringent with our behavior. He gives us the “extra careful measures of the Sages,” which are the part of the Torah that expresses the Great Love of Hashem for us by protecting us with “boundaries and fences.” They are there for our benefit, to refine us so that we will be spotless before Hashem.

Now that we understand what the “extra careful measures of the Sages” accomplish, we can understand why they are needed more in the times of Exile than in the time of the Beis Hamikdash (The Holy Temple in Jerusalem):

Now, in the time when the Beis Hamikdash existed, it was enough to fulfill the mitzvos, as they are defined “by the Torah’s definition,” without the extra precautions from the Sages. This is because our spirit was faithful to Hashem and we were not drawn with strong ropes of love for physical desires. It was, therefore, easier to have the love of Hashem firmly established in the heart of every man, and to be passionate in the service of Hashem and the learning of His Torah, even without these extra careful measures of the Sages to inspire a great love of Hashem.

However, with every successive generation, there is a diminished number of those who wholeheartedly serve Hashem with an intense and fiery love. We have been, instead, ‘burned’ with the ‘foreign fire’ of love and desire for physical things which is foreign to the nature of a Jew. These physical desires became so overwhelming to us that we are no longer able to serve Hashem with love, unless we first awaken a great love for Hashem through fulfilling the ‘extra careful measures of the Sages’ and their stringencies in every detail:

We must fulfill these precautions both with regard to ‘turning away from wrong’ by fulfilling all of the stringencies mentioned in the Gemara and later rulings, and with regard to ‘doing good’ by fulfilling the ethical guidance found in the Aggada and the ethical teachings of the Pirkei Avos. For example, it instructs one to have “a good eye,” meaning to view his friend with a generous eye, and not to think badly of his friend in his heart. And, so too the other instructions in Pirkei Avos, that one should have a ‘good heart’ and a ‘good friend,’

All of these instructions teach us how to fulfill the Torah’s command to “love your fellow as much as you love yourself” in the highest and most complete manner. This transcends the bare minimum requirement of the mitzvah, which someone might fulfill from just looking at the “Torah’s definition” of loving your fellow.

And this is the idea behind what is written, (Bamidbar 30:5–6) “And if her father heard her vow or her prohibition which she placed on herself, and her father will remain silent (and not nullify them right away), then all of her vows and prohibitions which she places on herself will be effective. However, if her father removes (i.e., nullifies) her vow on the day he hears about it, then all of the vows and prohibitions that she places on herself will not be effective, and Hashem will forgive her (if she transgresses her vow without knowing it was nullified) because her father removed it.” We see from this that specifically the father is able to מֵפֵר-remove a vow.

The deeper meaning behind this is that due to the aspect of the ‘great love’ from Hashem to the Jewish People, He (Hashem) מֵפֵר-removes (and, as the word מֵפֵר is translated by Rabbi Yonasan ben Uziel, this means Hashem nullifies) all of the restrictions and bonds of unholiness to which the Jewish People are restricted and bound.

It is necessary for this ‘great love’ to come and release the Jewish People from their connection to unholiness, since “a prisoner is unable to free himself.” It is only possible through the aspect of the ‘great love’ from Hashem to us, which is the idea of the “father.”

Meaning that just as a father’s great love for his children compels him to do everything in his power to encourage his children to follow the proper path, so does Hashem’s love for us “compel” Him to give us the fullest possible way to keep the Torah and the mitzvos. This allows us to fully express our true love of Hashem. Just as the father of a girl is able to nullify her vow since he cares about her and knows what is best for her, so too can Hashem reverse and “nullify” our bonds with unholiness and physical desire through giving us some of His great love, which comes in the form of the ‘extra careful measures of the Sages.’ These measures are an expression of Hashem’s deep and unlimited love for us.

The following is an explanation of the Tzemach Tzedek (found in the text of Likutay Torah) on the above statement of the Alter Rebbe, that the connection of the person to unholiness is like being bound by an oath, and the ‘great love’ of Hashem nullifies this bond, just as a father nullifies a vow.

What is the idea of these ‘restrictions that the person is restricted and bound by?’ We can possibly explain this as a reference to weakness of the Divine soul, which is not strong enough to leave its covering and prison, referring to the coarseness of the body and the animal soul, as explained elsewhere. There, it is also explained that through the study of the Torah, power and strength are given to the Divine soul to nullify all of these bonds to unholiness.

We can possibly explain that this is the idea of nullifying vows on Yom Kippur at the Kol Nidrei service: Through teshuva, (repentance/return to Hashem) which is the essential idea of Yom Kippur, a revelation of Hashem is drawn down and removes and nullifies these ‘bonds’ to unholiness created by the animal soul, just as the bonds of the vows became nullified at the Kol Nidrei service. And this allows the great love that a Jew has for Hashem to become revealed.

We can further explain the idea that specifically the father can remove vows from his daughter, based on what is written in the Zohar, as explained regarding the concept that in order for there to be a complete unity of Ze’eir Anpin and Malchus, the union must occur “at the time when she (Malchus) receives from the ‘house of the Father’ (meaning from Chochma), and not at the time when she receives from ‘the house of the Mother’ (meaning Bina).

In the verse (Bereshis 20:12) it says, “And besides, she is, in truth, my sister, my father’s daughter, though not my mother’s daughter, and she became my wife.” The simple meaning of the verse is that Avraham is explaining to Avimelech, king of the Pelishtim, the reason he called Sara his sister, even though she was really his wife. She was, indeed, related to him like a sister; she was his father’s granddaughter and his own niece. However, this relation was only from his father’s side. Sara’s father, Haran, was Avraham’s half-brother, since they shared the same father but had different mothers. Thus, Sara was related to him from his father’s side, as though she was his sister (even though she was actually his niece), but not from his mother’s side.

The Zohar provides a mystical explanation of the verse. The Zohar says that for Ze’eir Anpin and Malchus to become united like a husband and wife, it is not enough for them to receive from Bina. Rather, they need to receive from Chochma. This is the idea of saying “at the time when they receive from the house of the father-Chochma, and not at the time when they receive from the house of the mother-Bina.”

This is so because from the aspect of Bina and Daas the ability to “restrain the Sitra Achra (the side opposed to holiness)” is drawn forth. This is the idea of what it says in Pirkei Avos that “vows are a fence protecting a person so that he be separate and removed from indulging in worldly matters.”

But, in order to “actually transform spiritual darkness into spiritual light,” this cannot happen from the aspect of Bina alone, since “from it [Bina] judgements from Hashem’s Heavenly court are aroused against the created beings for their improper conduct.” Only from the aspect of the Higher Level, Chochma (Chochma of Atzilus), regarding which it says, (Koheles 7:12) “And Chochma [wisdom] will give life to those who have it,” can there be the nullification of the bonds to unholiness (the opposite of life) created by the animal soul.

This level of Chochma is a type of selfless dedication to Hashem, beyond all logic and reason and is, therefore, unaffected by the animal soul’s draw to physicality. It can even transform that pull into a drive to connect to Hashem. This is the idea that the father (meaning the power of Chochma) is able to nullify spiritual darkness and transform it into spiritual light.

Specifically, from this aspect (of the father-Chochma) is drawn forth the ability for “her (the daughter mentioned at the beginning) to become married to a man.” In a mystical sense, this means that the ability for Ze’eir Anpin to become united and fully revealed in Malchus derives from the father-Chochma, as described above.

From the sequence of the verses we are discussing, it would appear that the daughter’s marriage is connected to her father’s ability to nullify her vows. In simple terms, this connection is as follows: Just as the girl’s father can nullify her vows, so can her husband nullify her vows. However, in a mystical sense, we are using the reference of the “daughter” to mean Malchus of Atzilus, and the “father” to mean Chochma of Atzilus. The verse is telling us that in order for Malchus to get “married” to her “husband,” who is Ze’eir Anpin, she needs to first be connected to her “father,” Chochma. This is due to the fact that the ability to affect a complete union of Ze’eir Anpin and Malchus comes only from the power of Chochma.

In other words: In order for one to develop their great love for Hashem (Ze’eir Anpin) in a way that is expressed in the thoughts, speech and actions of their daily life, one must first cultivate a completely selfless dedication to Hashem (Chochma). This selfless dedication is developed specifically through keeping and fulfilling the “extra careful measures of the Sages,” who taught us how to be totally dedicated to Hashem.

However, now, we need to understand the mystical meaning of, “And if her father will hear her vow or her prohibition that she places on herself, and her father will remain silent (and not nullify them right away), then all of the vows and prohibitions that she places on herself will be effective.”

Meaning that specifically through first “restraining” the unholiness by restraining the desires of the animal soul, which is the purpose of a vow, (which is intended to restrain a person from indulgence), from this he will subsequently come to an experience of the revelation of the level of “her father (Chochma),” which causes that “spiritual darkness will be transformed into spiritual light.”

And this is also the meaning of what is written, (Bamdibar 30:2) “And Moshe spoke to the heads of the tribes of the Children of Israel saying, ‘This is the matter that Hashem has commanded,’” prior to teaching the commandment that a father may nullify his daughter’s vows, and a husband may nullify his wife’s vows if done in the correct time and manner.

What is the lesson in emphasizing that this particular mitzva was transmitted through Moshe? All of the mitzvos were taught to us by Moshe, so why point that out here, specifically? This is to teach us that through Moshe “saying (to the heads of the tribes) that this is the matter,” meaning from the aspect of Moshe (who represents the level of Chochma of Atzilus) the vows can become nullified. From Chochma (represented by Moshe) comes the power for the Divine soul to free itself from the “vows,” ie. the bonds of the animal soul’s passions.

In addition, the idea of “heads of the tribes” is that they represent the “essential desire of the heart to connect to Hashem,” in a manner of “great love for Hashem,” as explained above.

In other words, by saying that it was Moshe who spoke to the heads of the tribes about nullifying vows, the verse is hinting to us that from Chochma - represented by Moshe - can someone reveal in themselves the true love for Hashem, which is represented by the “heads of the tribes.” Mystically speaking, the “heads of the tribes” means the highest part of the soul of the Jewish people. Just as the head is the highest part of the body, so too, the deep and essential love for Hashem in every Jew is the idea of the “heads of the tribes.” This deep love - the heads of the tribes - is revealed through Moshe - Chochma.