In the verse (Bereshis 20:12) it says, "And besides, she is, in truth, my sister, my father’s daughter, though not my mother’s daughter, and she became my wife."
The simple meaning of the verse is that Avraham is explaining to Avimelech, king of the Pelishtim, the reason he called Sara his sister, even though she was really his wife. She was, indeed, related to him like a sister; she was his father’s granddaughter and his own niece. However, this relation was only from his father’s side. Sara’s father, Haran, was Avraham’s half-brother, since they shared the same father but had different mothers. Thus, Sara was related to him from his father’s side, as though she was his sister (even though she was actually his niece), but not from his mother’s side.
The Zohar provides a mystical explanation of the verse. The Zohar says that for Ze’eir Anpin and Malchus to become united like a husband and wife (וַת ְהִי־לִי לְאִש ָה), it is not enough for them to receive from Bina (לֹא בַת־אִמ ִי). Rather, they need to receive from Chochma (וְגַם־אָ מְנָה אֲחֹתִי בַת־אָבִי הִוא ). This is the idea of saying “at the time when they receive from the house of the father-Chochma, and not at the time when they receive from the house of the mother-Bina.”
This is so because from the aspect of Bina and Daas the ability to “restrain the Sitra Achra (the side opposed to holiness)” is drawn forth. This is the idea of what it says in Pirkei Avos that “vows are a fence protecting a person so that he be separate and removed from indulging in worldly matters.”
But, in order to “actually transform spiritual darkness into spiritual light,” this cannot happen from the aspect of Bina alone, since “from it [Bina] judgements from Hashem’s Heavenly court are aroused against the created beings for their improper conduct.”
Only from the aspect of the Higher Level, Chochma (Chochma of Atzilus), regarding which it says, (Koheles 7:12) “And Chochma [wisdom] will give life to those who have it,” can there be the nullification of the bonds to unholiness (the opposite of life) created by the animal soul.
This level of Chochma is a type of selfless dedication to Hashem, beyond all logic and reason and is, therefore, unaffected by the animal soul’s draw to physicality. It can even transform that pull into a drive to connect to Hashem.
This is the idea that the father (meaning the power of Chochma) is able to nullify spiritual darkness and transform it into spiritual light.
Specifically, from this aspect (of the father-Chochma) is drawn forth the ability for “her (the daughter mentioned at the beginning) to become married to a man.” In a mystical sense, this means that the ability for Ze’eir Anpin to become united and fully revealed in Malchus derives from the father-Chochma, as described above.
From the sequence of the verses we are discussing, it would appear that the daughter’s marriage is connected to her father’s ability to nullify her vows. In simple terms, this connection is as follows: Just as the girl’s father can nullify her vows, so can her husband nullify her vows. However, in a mystical sense, we are using the reference of the “daughter” to mean Malchus of Atzilus, and the “father” to mean Chochma of Atzilus. The verse is telling us that in order for Malchus to get “married” to her “husband,” who is Ze’eir Anpin, she needs to first be connected to her “father,” Chochma. This is due to the fact that the ability to affect a complete union of Ze’eir Anpin and Malchus comes only from the power of Chochma.
In other words: In order for one to develop their great love for Hashem (Ze’eir Anpin) in a way that is expressed in the thoughts, speech and actions of their daily life, one must first cultivate a completely selfless dedication to Hashem (Chochma). This selfless dedication is developed specifically through keeping and fulfilling the “extra careful measures of the Sages,” who taught us how to be totally dedicated to Hashem.
However, now, we need to understand the mystical meaning of, “And if her father will hear her vow or her prohibition that she places on herself, and her father will remain silent (and not nullify them right away), then all of the vows and prohibitions that she places on herself will be effective.”
Meaning that specifically through first “restraining” the unholiness by restraining the desires of the animal soul, which is the purpose of a vow, (which is intended to restrain a person from indulgence), from this he will subsequently come to an experience of the revelation of the level of “her father (Chochma),” which causes that “spiritual darkness will be transformed into spiritual light.”
And this is also the meaning of what is written, (Bamdibar 30:2) “And Moshe spoke to the heads of the tribes of the Children of Israel saying, ‘This is the matter that Hashem has commanded,’” prior to teaching the commandment that a father may nullify his daughter’s vows, and a husband may nullify his wife’s vows if done in the correct time and manner.
What is the lesson in emphasizing that this particular mitzva was transmitted through Moshe? All of the mitzvos were taught to us by Moshe, so why point that out here, specifically?
This is to teach us that through Moshe “saying (to the heads of the tribes) that this is the matter,” meaning from the aspect of Moshe (who represents the level of Chochma of Atzilus) the vows can become nullified. From Chochma (represented by Moshe) comes the power for the Divine soul to free itself from the “vows,” ie. the bonds of the animal soul’s passions.
In addition, the idea of “heads of the tribes” is that they represent the “essential desire of the heart to connect to Hashem,” in a manner of “great love for Hashem,” as explained above.
In other words, by saying that it was Moshe who spoke to the heads of the tribes about nullifying vows, the verse is hinting to us that from Chochma - represented by Moshe - can someone reveal in themselves the true love for Hashem, which is represented by the “heads of the tribes.” Mystically speaking, the “heads of the tribes” means the highest part of the soul of the Jewish people. Just as the head is the highest part of the body, so too, the deep and essential love for Hashem in every Jew is the idea of the “heads of the tribes.” This deep love - the heads of the tribes - is revealed through Moshe - Chochma.
