But if we look in the Parsha we see something completely different. Moshe sent Pinchas and Elazar Hakohen (the son of Aharon). If this Mitzvah was so important even at the cost of Moshe Rabbeinu’s life, why didn’t he go himself?
The answer is brought in the Midrash.
Moshe said that he grew up in Midyan for a few years. He owed them gratitude – Hakoras Hatov. If he owed them gratitude he couldn’t go himself and punish Midyan.
Rabbi Leib Chasman in his Sefer Ohr Yahel explains that although Moshe understood the severity of this Mitzvah but at the same time it was obvious to Moshe that Hashem never expected him to do it himself if it was against Hakoras Hatov.
Rabbi Leib Chasman continues and connects this theme to the three weeks with the famous story of Kamtza and Bar Kamtza (brought in Gemara Gittin 56). The man hosting the meal was an enemy of Bar Kamtza and therefore threw him out. Bar Kamtza went and caused the destruction of the Beis Hamikdash.
Rabbi Leib Chasman explains that from the behavior of Bar Kamtza we see he was a Rasha, cruel and a wicked man. To go and cause such destruction to the whole Klal Yisrael is only someone so cruel and wicked. So in all fairness we can understand why this man hated Bar Kamtza and rightfully so. Bar Kamtza was far from being a Tzaddik and this man realized it. The proof is we see how he behaved.
But even so after the whole story the Gemara writes, Rabbi Eliezer says from this story we can see the severity of shame. Because Bar Kamtza was put to shame Hashem helped him and in the end the Beis Hamikdash was destroyed. This wicked man who was capable of such wickedness, but even so, since he was put to shame Hashem helped him.
This teaches us a very important message in the laws of Middos and behavior to others. We have many important Mitzvos and obligations that are connected to other people – Bein Adam le’chaveiro. Parents or teachers who are educating children and students very often have to discipline them. However although we have a big Mitzvah it doesn’t mean we can step on them. We must still have the fullest sensitivity to their feelings. We mustn’t embarrass them, damage them or abuse them. And there are many other examples.
When it comes to others it’s not just about what we have to to do, it’s just as important how to do it.
