They say that R’ Gershon made 1,000 Shiduchim, and not one divorce. He would pick out a Bachur and a girl at random, and match them. A son of such a union told me that his father and mother are totally incompatible, yet there is 100% Shalom Bayis. Also, his Talmidim were taught about breaking Middos, and they pride themselves with always being M’vater. R’ Gershon once met an Adam Gadol, who was a Rosh Yeshiva of a famous Yeshiva. The Rosh Yeshiva boasted about his high Madrega in Torah. But R’ Gershon boasted that he had zero divorce rate.
I knew a Novardoker Adam Gadol who was married to an extremely difficult woman. She had suffered in WWII, and was not 100%. He never had an argument with her. Once, she once told her daughters (in his presence) to wear manlike pajamas (pants) in front of him. He didn’t say a word to her, but privately he told his daughters that this isn’t allowed. People once asked him why he doesn’t divorce, and he replied that the children wouldn’t be safe under his wife’s care.
He said that a couple without arguments produces Menucha, which is like Gan Eden. R’ Chaim Mordechai Wainkrantz was once approached by a woman who told him that her son was in a lot of pain. He glanced at the boy’s face, and he asserted that this is because he is M’chalel Shabbos. The boy was in total shock. He used to take hot showers on Shabbos, in a place that was impossible to be seen. As soon as he stopped doing this, his pain disappeared.
R’ Wainkrantz once had had a massive heart attack. The doctor said that his heart was made out of paper, and it was impossible to live like this. Yet, he led a long and productive life. A Baal Bitachon gets different service. Once he was in the hospital getting potassium shots, an excruciatingly painful procedure. Yet, they couldn’t see the slightest pain or discomfort on his face.
They asked him about this, and he said that it’s a pleasure to have some more pain in THIS world rather than Gehinom. This is what 3-4 hours Mussar daily produces. (He used to insist on the Ma'ala of 3 hours of Mussar, in the name of R' Chatzkel Levenstein Zatzal). I personally believe in the possibility of these Madregos, if you work on believing in the power of Tefila.
When you have a Mussar Chinuch in Emuna and Bitachon, you realize that the only True Doctor is Hashem. I knew a woman from U. K. who was married to a super-critical husband, who always ignored her, while always being nice to others. She davened super hard for many years, and in the end she loved all his criticism. When he went to a Chasuna alone, she insisted on coming along with him, to enjoy all that criticism!
You can’t imagine the power of your mind! Those who learn loads of Mussar about the greatness of Bizyonos learn how to laugh when others cry! Once, a woman screamed at her husband for doing an evil which SHE had actually done, and not him. He didn’t say a word, and slept that night without any anxiety!
