By Sarah Chana Radcliffe
Never raise your voice again. Here's how:
Here's one evidence-based way to help yourself stop raising your voice: create a dedicated notebook and simply write down the time and date of each time you raise your voice throughout the day. Continue until you've reached your goal. When you're there, give yourself a big reward!
It's so hard to watch our child struggle and so tempting to try to relieve her pain...
All children have anxious feelings from time to time, just as adults do. Most parents try to help their kids through this kind of distress by offering reassurance in one form or another. The problem with this strategy is that it provides momentary relief while simultaneously ensuring that the anxiety will persist in the future (because reassurance rewards anxious neural pathways.) Instead of offering reassurance, offer comfort. "I know you're worried Honey; I'm here for you." Because comfort doesn't make all the anxiety go away, it forces the child to continue to find a way to support and reassure HERSELF. When she succeeds at doing this, she makes long-lasting changes in her neural structure, creating a calmer, more stress-resistant brain. You can't do it for her; this is something that only the "brain owner" can do.
