QUESTION: If marriage is such an important commandment, how is it that in these three weeks [From the 17th of Av until Tisha B’Av) the rabbanim prevent people from getting married?
ANSWER: And the answer is ימיני תשכח ירושלים אשכחך אם – If I shall forget Yerushalayim let my right hand forget its cunning, לא אם שמחתי ראש על ירושלים אעלה – my greatest happiness is nothing compared to my hope for Yerushalayim. And therefore, for three weeks we stop thinking about marriage and we think about Yerushalayim.
It’s so important for us to spend time thinking about Yerushalayim. Not today’s Yerushalayim – about the ancient Yerushalayim we once had. תשכח ירושלים אשכחך אם ימיני. To put those thoughts above our personal happiness! It’s one of the perfections we have to gain, to think of the days of old. עולם ימות זכור – Remember the days of old, the greatness we once possessed.
It’s very important for Jews to know their history. We have a very, very wealthy history. We have to look back and enjoy the happiness of those generations and the memories that we have with us still today; it’s extremely important to study our past. And therefore, because our past is so important, it’s worth postponing a wedding for three weeks to achieve that perfection of remembering the days of old and what our nation once possessed.
Reprinted from the Parshas Pinchas 5784 email of Toras Avigdor (Tape #792 – July 1990).
