In the beginning of Parshas Massei, the Torah lists the forty-two stops of Bnei Yisrael’s journey in the wilderness. Rashi provides a profound explanation for why the Torah records every single stop. He explains as follows:
“Why are all these stops recorded? To make us aware of the kindnesses of the Omnipresent, namely, that although He decreed upon Bnei Yisrael to have them move around and wander in the desert, you should not say that they were wandering and being pushed from place to place the entire 40 years without rest. For there are no more than 42 stops stated here; deduct from them 14, all of which were in the first year after leaving Egypt before the decree... Furthermore, deduct from them 8 journeys that were after Aaron's death – from Mount Hor until the plains of Moab, in the 40th year. It follows that in the other 38 years they made only 20 journeys."
Without Rashi's explanation, we might have understood this lengthy list of stops as evidence of Bnei Yisrael’s unsettled existence – always wandering from place to place and the related hardships that likely ensued. The very word "wandering" conjures up images of endless and restless days and nights. We might have thought that Hashem's punishment was relentlessly harsh, with Bnei Yisrael never finding stability or peace during this time. However, Rashi corrects the record so-to-speak – more than half of the journeys took place in two years where they did indeed move around a lot, however the other 38 years in the desert, they were settled and did not travel that frequently.
The truth about Bnei Yisrael’s wilderness experience was more nuanced than the narrative on its face would suggest. Yes, they were punished and had to wander. But no, they were not in constant, frantic motion without rest. There was a more complex reality - one that included both divine punishment and divine mercy.
When we perceive our own experiences, we often fall into the trap of "totalizing the narrative" - we perceive entire periods of our lives or the entirety of a relationship in purely negative terms. We say things like "that was the worst year of my life" or "I never caught a break" when that is not entirely true.
We should be honest and not minimize real suffering. However, we should also be honest and not overlook positive aspects of an experience. Just because we had a legitimately negative experience does not mean it was completely negative.
Everyday Emes requires us to tell others and ourselves complete and truthful narratives about our experiences, even when a partially truthful story would be more convenient or fit our preconceived notions.
