“They approached [Moshe] and they said, “We will build pens for our sheep here, and cities for our children.” (Bamidbar 32:16)
After the rout of Sichon and Og, their lands were captured by the Jewish People. Noting the fine pasture land, the members of the tribes of Reuven and Gad approached Moshe, when he was together with Aharon and the elders, asking to be granted these lands as their portion of the Land of Israel. Though it was not part of the original land promised to Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaakov, they believed that now that Hashem had conquered it for them, it could be considered part of Eretz Yisrael for their inheritance.
Moshe immediately lashed out at them, warning that they were reenacting the sin of the Meraglim, who put fear into the hearts of the Jews, so they did not want to go into Eretz Yisrael. That led to an entire generation dying. Were they seriously suggesting that they not enter the land, and allow their brethren to fend for themselves without their help?
At this point, our posuk tells us, they “approached” Moshe. But they were already there! What was different now?
One understanding is that when Moshe began to yell at them, they backed away. Once he had said his piece, and they were able to answer his questions to his satisfaction, i.e., that they would NOT leave their brothers to fight on their own, but, on the contrary, they would be at the forefront of the battle, they were emboldened to come back to his presence and plead their case.
Additionally, they had been hoping that the presence of Aharon and the elders, who would then have more land to share with their tribes, would take up their case. Since Moshe’s initial response didn’t preclude them from getting this land in Trans-Jordan as their lot, they came closer to him, and essentially cut out the others. They didn’t need the help.
One thing, which we see in Moshe’s response, was that he chided them about their priorities. They should have first mentioned cities for their family, and then pens for their animals. Our finances should not be the first thing on our minds, but rather, they should be a means to caring for what’s really important, our children and our Jewish legacy.
We see in this conversation how crucial and significant the relationships with our leaders are. If they scold us, we should be contrite and humble, and take a step back to reflect on what they tell us. However, we mustn’t completely run away.
When they are looking for our best interests, we don’t need to get others to fight on our behalf. We should, instead, come closer to them and discuss what’s on our minds, ready to listen to what they have to share with us. Their insight and wisdom are invaluable, and we are blessed to have them. A Jewish leader is an advocate, not a tyrant; a shepherd, not a master. This is how we view our sages, and how we learn to lead by their example.
A philanthropist was a big donor to a particular Yeshiva. In fact, he covered more than half its budget - and he knew it. He had some ideas about a certain aspect of chinuch he wished to share with the Rosh Yeshiva, so he made an appointment to meet.
The day came. Understanding that the man was about to share his opinions about how the Yeshiva should run, the Rosh Yeshiva began, “Mr. So-and-so, you are welcome to come visit me anytime to speak in learning or ask advice. You are also welcome to come learn in the Bais Midrash whenever you want. But when it comes to your ideas on chinuch, my door is closed.”
The words hit home and the man could not take this response sitting down. From that point on, he increased his donations to the Yeshiva.
