4) The Gemara in Mo’ed Kotan (9b) teaches: בת שיתין כבת שית לקל טבלא רהטא – “A woman of sixty years, like one of six, runs at the sound of the timbrel (a type of musical instrument).” Rashi explains: פירוש קשקוש הזוג ר"ל מיני זמר בהילולא וכי היכי דרהטא ילדה בת שית לקל הילולא הכי עבדא בת שיתין – “Explanation: The shaking of bells. This refers to instruments at a wedding, and just like six-year-olds run after music, so do sixty-year-olds.”
In this week’s parsha we have the pasuk: כל נדר וכל שבעת אסר לענות נפש אישה יקימנה ואישה יפרנו – “Any neder or shavuah which a women makes which afflicts her soul, a husband may establish it, her husband may annul it” (Bamidbar 30:14). The Baal HaTurim comments: We find the word לענות twice in Tanach, once here and once in Tehillim (88:1) in the pasuk על מחלת לענות. In Tehillim it refers to musical instruments, therefore, we see that also here it refers to musical instruments. We can derive from here, that if a woman makes a neder not to listen to musical instruments, her husband can annul it as it is considered inuy nefesh [afflicting for her soul], like we find in Mo’ed Kotan, בת שיתין כבת שית לקל טבלא רהטא, i.e. that even old women run after music.
This is also brought down by the Tashbatz Kotan (ois 414) and he adds a related halachah from the Maharam MiRuttenberg, that if a women vows: שלא לילך למחול או שלא לשורר או שלא לשמוע קול שיר שבעלה מיפר לה ביום שמעו לפי שבעל מיפר לה נדרי עינוי נפש וזה קרוי עינוי נפש - not to go to a dance class, or not to sing, or not to hear musical instruments, her husband may annul the vow on the day he hears, as a husband can annul vows related to inuy nefesh, and such a vow is considered inuy nefesh.
This is brought down l’halachah in Yoreh Deah (234:62): נדרה שלא תלך לבית האבל או לבית המשתה או לבית אביה ואמה או שלא תלך במחול או שלא לשורר או שלא לשמוע קול שיר הוי נדרי עינוי נפש – “If a women makes a vow not to go to a house of mourning, to a chasunah, to her father or mothers house, not to go to a dancing class, not to sing, or not to hear musical instruments, all these vows are considered inuy nefesh.”
We see that women are drawn after music more than men, and because of this if a woman vows not to listen to music her husband can annul the vow. The question is however, why are women more drawn after music than men?
Perhaps this can be explained as follows. The Gemara in Niddah (31b) relates: “They asked Rebbi Dosa: Why is that women have sweet, pleasant-sounding voices, whereas men don’t?” And he answered: זו ממקום שנברא וזו ממקום שנבראת – “It is to do with where men and women come from”. Rashi explains: “When you bang on a bone a sound is heard, however, when you bang on the ground no sound is heard.” Meaning: Adam was created from the ground, and no sound is heard when hitting the ground, however, Chava was created from a bone (a rib), and when you hit a bone a sound is emitted. Therefore, women which were created from a bone have a sweet, pleasant-sounding voice, whereas men which were created from the ground don’t.
Based on this, perhaps we can understand why women are drawn after music more than men. Man was created from the ground which doesn’t emit sound; therefore, men aren’t so drawn after music. Women, however, were created from bone which emits sound; therefore, women are more drawn after music. (Otzar Pelois HaTorah)
